Deeply Unimportant: Boring Technical Readings for Sleep

Sleep Aid: CSC 1972 International Convention for Safe Containers (Boring Voice)

Fall asleep to one of the deepest, most soothing voices you've ever heard reading the most inconsequential material there is. Leave the chaos of the ocean for the quiet discipline of the shipyard to review the required stacking, racking, and restraint tests for the twenty-foot equivalent unit, as defined by the International Convention for Safe Containers. Achieve deep rest in the immutable strength of the standardized box as we contemplate the steel corrugated wall and the immutable structural laws that govern its construction. Find peace in the meticulous safety requirements for the corrosion-resistant Safety Approval Plate, from the precise sequence of indelible markings to the exact 50-millimeter height of the registration letters. We categorize the static vertical compression of the 1.8g stacking load, maintained for exactly five minutes, and review the longitudinal restraint tests that guarantee rigidity against the indifferent movements of the global transportation system. This technical reading is designed to replace conventional bed time stories with structured boredom. An alternative to standard short bed time stories, this episode offers the focus of a sleep meditation podcast that can also soothe adult ADHD. Deeply Unimportant's adult bed time stories consist of pure, unchallenging data—sleep stories meant to be ignored. Subscribe for ad-free episodes, long episodes that run all night, bonus content and more. And consider gifting a subscription. Visit deeplyunimportant.com.

Sleep Aid: Santa's Redacted "Naughty" List (Alphabetical First Names)

Fall asleep to one of the deepest, most soothing voices you've ever heard reading the most inconsequential material there is. Access the restricted behavioral archives of the far north and be lulled by the definitive, alphabetical registry of non-compliance. Experience Santa's legendary "Naughty List" treated with the clinical, administrative gravity of a national news broadcast. Achieve deep rest in the meticulous recitation of redacted first names—from Aaron to Zoe—where all narrative mischief and surnames have been strictly omitted for privacy. Find peace in the unwavering cadence of the 2025 Behavioral Matrix, where festive excitement is disregarded in favor of pure, rhythmic data. Former news anchor Dallas Kachan presents the Global Non-Compliance Ledger. If you struggle with insomnia or ADHD and find that traditional sleep stories are too engaging, this episode offers a "structured drift." By replacing narrative hooks with monotonous data, we provide a boring path for your mind to follow into sleep. This is the ultimate white noise alternative for a peaceful night. Subscribe for ad-free episodes, long episodes that run all night, bonus content and more. And consider gifting a subscription. Visit deeplyunimportant.com.

Deep Voice Sleep: NASA-STD-3000 Human Standards

Fall asleep to one of the deepest, most soothing voices you've ever heard reading the most inconsequential material there is. Fall asleep to the ultimate authority for human engineering in space: NASA-STD-3000, "Man-Systems Integration Standards." This episode focuses on Section 5: Human Performance Capabilities. Relax as we process the rigid requirements for astronaut functionality, including the calculation of Minimum Character Height (16 arc minutes!), the required chromaticity boundaries for color-coded displays, and the acoustic criteria for auditory alarms. Sleep secure in the knowledge that every action, from a simple control movement to a complex procedure, has been measured, contained, and deemed acceptable for the 5th percentile female. This technical reading is designed to replace conventional bed time stories with structured boredom. An alternative to standard short bed time stories, this episode offers the focus of a sleep meditation podcast that can also soothe adult ADHD. Deeply Unimportant's adult bed time stories consist of pure, unchallenging data—sleep stories meant to be ignored. Subscribe for ad-free episodes, long episodes that run all night, bonus content and more. And consider gifting a subscription. Visit deeplyunimportant.com.

Sleep Meditation: 1954 Singer Sewing Machine Operating Manual

Fall asleep to one of the deepest, most soothing voices you've ever heard reading the most inconsequential material there is. Drift off immersing yourself in the meticulous operational procedures for the iconic Singer Model 201 sewing machine. Find rest in the certainty of Section 2, which dictates the precise method for threading the upper body, the correct path for the 'Perfect Lockstitch,' and the non-negotiable technique for testing bobbin tension—the delicate two-inch drop-and-hold test. Surrender to the rhythm of perfect mechanism and the required periodicity of lubrication. This technical reading is designed to replace conventional bed time stories with structured boredom. An alternative to standard short bed time stories, this episode offers the focus of a sleep meditation podcast that can also soothe adult ADHD. Deeply Unimportant's adult bed time stories consist of pure, unchallenging data—sleep stories meant to be ignored. Subscribe for ad-free episodes, long episodes that run all night, bonus content and more. And consider gifting a subscription. Visit deeplyunimportant.com.

Sleep Story: 1922 Western Softwood Lumber Grading Rules (Boring Voice)

Fall asleep to one of the deepest, soothing voices you've ever heard reading the most inconsequential material there is. Travel to the U.S. Pacific Northwest of 1922 and be lulled by the definitive rules for classifying Ponderosa Pine and Sugar Pine. Achieve deep rest in the meticulous definition of the acceptable flaw. Find peace in the precise allowance for Grade C Select, which permits "small, seasonal checks" and "light blue stain." We categorize the exact dimensions of a "sound, tight knot" (not to exceed one inch) and review the limits for pitch pockets and wane. And don't miss a serene review of the rules of tally, where every board foot is measured, and all fractions of length are disregarded. Deeply Unimportant is the ultimate sleep aid for minds that won't quit. No whispers, guided meditations, or gentle fairy tales. This is ordered, structured, deep-voiced boredom. Your host, a former news anchor, delivers unchallenging, nondescript material—from municipal codes to technical specifications—in a protracted, professional style with classic broadcast gravitas. The deep, resonant, unwavering tone is the perfect mental white noise, anchoring racing thoughts with comforting cadence and structure. Subscribe for ad-free episodes, long episodes that run all night, bonus content and more. And consider gifting a subscription. Visit deeplyunimportant.com.