Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

How to Fix Communication Problems: Conflict & Repair Skills That Build Trust — Thais Gibson | Love | E504

When communication in a relationship starts to feel harder than it used to, it’s easy to wonder whether something is wrong, with your partner, or with the relationship itself. Many couples reach this point during the power struggle stage in relationships, when differences feel sharper, conflict escalates more quickly, and emotional safety can start to feel shaky. In today’s conversation, I’m joined by Thais Gibson, and we’re talking about why relationship power struggles are not a sign of failure, but a normal part of the stages of love. We explore what’s really happening beneath the surface when couples feel stuck in recurring conflict, including how the anxious avoidant relationship cycle can quietly take over communication and leave both partners feeling misunderstood or disconnected. Together, we unpack the myth that “good relationships should feel easy,” and talk honestly about normal relationship conflict, what’s expected, what’s workable, and what actually helps couples move forward. Thais shares practical frameworks for repairing after conflict, communicating needs more clearly, and rebuilding emotional safety in relationships, especially when old triggers and attachment patterns are getting activated. As you listen, I invite you to notice where you and your partner might be caught in the cycle, and what could shift if conflict became a doorway to understanding, growth, and repair instead of something to fear or avoid. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why the Myth That “Good Relationships Should Be Easy” Creates Conflict 03:12 The Stages of Love and How Relationships Change Over Time 05:33 The Power Struggle Stage in Relationships Explained 10:06 Why Triggers and Polarity Drive Relationship Power Struggles 16:21 The Anxious–Avoidant Relationship Cycle 17:40 Conflict and Repair Skills That Build Trust 29:36 Building Emotional Safety During Relationship Conflict 35:22 Communication Habits That Help Couples Move Forward If this conversation helped you recognize patterns in your relationship, especially around conflict, emotional safety, or feeling stuck in the power struggle stage, I want you to know you don’t have to navigate this alone. As a gift to you, you’re warmly invited to schedule a free consultation with me or a trusted member of my team at Growing Self. This is a private, secure conversation where you can share what’s really been happening in your relationship and what you’re hoping could feel different. You’ll answer three quick questions so we can thoughtfully match you with the right counselor or coach, someone who understands the kinds of dynamics Thais and I talked about today and can help you move toward clarity, connection, and repair. It only takes a couple of minutes, and it’s simply an opportunity to explore what support might look like for you. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs  to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com 

Why Do I Keep Doing This? The Real Reason Habits Stick—and How to Finally Change Them, with Kati Morton | E503

There is a particular kind of frustration that comes from knowing yourself well enough to recognize a pattern, and still feeling unable to stop it. You understand what you are doing. You may even understand why. And yet the behavior keeps showing up anyway. In this conversation, I’m sitting down with licensed marriage and family therapist and mental health educator Kati Morton to talk about why habits that no longer serve us can be so hard to change. Not because we lack insight or discipline, but because many of these patterns began as emotional coping habits. At one point, they helped us feel safer, more connected, or more in control. Over time, they quietly turned into ways we stay stuck. We explore how early relationship experiences shape perfectionism and control patterns, why self-sabotaging behaviors make sense once you understand the nervous system’s role in survival, and how shame keeps habits locked in place rather than motivating change. Kati shares why willpower is rarely the solution, and what compassionate habit change actually looks like when you stop trying to override yourself and start listening instead. We also talk about what happens when these patterns show up inside relationships, how to raise concerns without controlling or shaming your partner, and why understanding the function of a habit matters far more than trying to eliminate it. This episode is about breaking habits that keep you stuck by learning how to meet the underlying need in a healthier, more sustainable way. As you listen, I invite you to reflect on this question: What has this behavior been doing for me, and what might become possible if I approached myself with more curiosity and less judgment? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why willpower is not enough to change habits 03:49 How early relationship blueprints shape behavior 08:51 Perfectionism, people pleasing, and self-abandonment 12:25 Conditional love and control patterns 18:06 Nervous system regulation and survival responses 24:04 Emotional coping habits outside of relationships 31:03 Why shame reinforces habits 37:54 Addressing the root instead of cutting off symptoms 44:27 Supporting change in relationships without control 50:53 More from Kati Morton If this episode brought clarity to patterns you have been struggling with, and you would like support as you work toward change that actually lasts, I want to extend a personal invitation. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. This is a private, secure space where you will answer three quick questions so we can help match you with the right counselor or coach for what you are navigating right now. Think of it as a thoughtful starting place, not a commitment. Just support, perspective, and help finding the right next step. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs  to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

How to Date Smarter Without Burning Out (And Still Stay Open to Love) | Love | E502

If you’ve been dating for a while and you’re starting to feel tired, discouraged, or quietly wondering why this seems so much harder than it should be, you’re not imagining things. Modern dating can wear people down, the endless swiping, first dates that go nowhere, the emotional energy it takes just to stay open and hopeful. Many of the people I work with start to doubt themselves, not because anything is wrong with them, but because the process itself is exhausting. In this episode, I’m joined by Tim Molnar, a dating coach and former sociology professor, to talk about dating burnout recovery and how to approach dating with more clarity, intention, and emotional steadiness. Instead of pushing harder or checking out completely, we explore how to date more thoughtfully,  in ways that protect your mental health and help you stay connected to yourself along the way. We talk about why modern dating mental health struggles are so common, how swipe culture and endless choice can distort decision-making, and why so many good people end up feeling depleted rather than excited. Tim shares a research-backed, intentional dating strategy that helps you make better decisions sooner, reduce emotional drain, and focus your energy where it actually matters. If you’ve been trying to date without losing yourself — your values, your peace of mind, or your sense of hope — this episode offers a calmer, more grounded way forward. As you listen, you might reflect on this question: What would change if dating felt less like a test of your worth and more like a process you could approach with intention and self-trust? Episode Breakdown 00:00 Dating Burnout and Self-Doubt in Modern Dating 02:17 Tim’s Journey to an Intentional Dating Strategy 07:24 Why Modern Dating Impacts Mental Health 12:52 The “Third Door” Approach to Dating Without Burning Out 16:05 Expanding Your Social World Without Losing Yourself 21:15 Why Dating Apps Create Burnout and Inertia 25:49 Real-World Connection, Rejection, and Emotional Risk 36:29 Making Better Dating Decisions Earlier 39:43 The 80/20 Approach to Dating Without Burnout 43:40 Chemistry vs. Compatibility in Healthy Relationships 46:22 What Research Says Predicts Long-Term Relationship Success 50:47 The Power of the Slow Burn in Dating If dating has started to feel heavy, confusing, or emotionally draining, and you’d like a thoughtful place to land as you sort through what you need next, I want you to know there’s support available to you. I’d love to invite you to schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my Growing Self team. This is a private, secure space where you’ll answer a few simple questions so we can understand what’s been weighing on you and thoughtfully connect you with the right counselor or coach — someone who understands dating burnout, relationship decision-making, and how to help you stay open to love without losing yourself. You don’t need to have everything figured out before you begin. This is simply an opportunity to feel understood, supported, and less alone as you find a calmer, more intentional way forward. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs  to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

When Therapy Doesn’t Help: Why You’re Still Stuck | E501

If therapy feels like talking in circles, you’re not un-helpable. Your therapy might be the wrong kind of help. In today’s episode we’re talking about the big fat elephant in the therapy room: The disconnect between what therapists actually do, and what people are expecting to get out of it. Listen to get clarity about what therapy is actually designed to do, and more importantly what therapy is not—and how to choose the right support. The truth is that evidence based psychotherapy can be a literal life-saver. If you’re dealing with mental health issues, getting connected with a good, competent therapist can make all the difference between suffering, struggling, and having a nice life. Psychotherapy is valid, important, and effective for the treatment of mental health conditions.  But what about the 50% of people who show up for therapy who aren’t dealing with a mental health condition? Who are there to learn, grow, and develop themselves so that we can get traction in our lives, and have support to get where we want to go?  Those people? So many of them walk away from therapy feeling frustrated, stuck, or even wondering if they’re the problem. In this episode, I’m getting real about why therapy sometimes falls flat—and how you can reclaim your growth by understanding the actual purpose and process of therapy vs coaching. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why traditional therapy sometimes feels like “talking in circles” (and why it’s not your fault) What therapists are really trained for (hint: it isn’t always growth or day-to-day challenges) The major differences between therapy, mental health therapy, relationship therapy, and coaching—and how to know which one you need Red flags and disconnects to listen for during your first session How to interview a psychologist or counselor so you actually get results (not just insight) When coaching is more effective than therapy for life, relationship, and career issues What to know about insurance and why it matters if you’re not getting “treatment” Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: On this show you’ll hear me talk about my coach training program for therapists, and the opportunity to work with one of them at a deeply discounted rate ($49!). Learn more and see if this is right for you. Special thanks to this month’s sponsors: Shopify: The all-in-one platform to build and grow your online business. Explore exclusive listener discounts at shopify.com/lhsWorking Genius founder Patrick Lencioni is on a mission to create self understanding and connection by helping people understand their genius and that of others. Listen to our conversation, then discover your strengths and get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

Can’t Stop Obsessing About Them? Limerence vs Love and How to Manage Unhealthy Feelings | Love | E500

There’s a particular kind of emotional stuckness that’s hard to explain until you’ve lived it — the constant thinking about someone, replaying conversations, scanning for meaning in small moments, and slowly realizing that your inner world has begun to revolve around another person. That’s the experience we’re talking about today. In this episode, psychologist Orly Miller joins me for a thoughtful conversation about limerence vs love, and why intense longing can sometimes cross a line into something that feels more consuming than connecting. We talk about what limerence actually is, how it differs from healthy romantic attachment, and why it can be so difficult to move out of once you’re in it. For anyone quietly wondering how to stop limerence, this conversation offers clarity, language, and relief without judgment. As you listen, I invite you to notice how uncertainty, hope, and emotional focus may be shaping your experience of love,  and what might shift if more of that energy were returned to you, rather than staying fixed on someone else. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Loving Too Much: When Longing Becomes Painful 01:42 How Limerence Shows Up in Real Life 08:52 What Limerence Is (and What It Isn’t) 11:00 Limerence vs Love: Why Healthy Love Moves Forward 17:55 The Three Ways Limerence Can Exist 20:47 Hope and Doubt: What Keeps Limerence Alive 22:34 When Limerence Becomes Unhealthy 33:06 Inside a Limerent Episode 42:52 Why Healing Isn’t About the Other Person 44:54 Reclaiming Yourself and Moving Forward When patterns like these start to come into focus, it can bring relief, and also raise questions about what comes next. If this conversation stirred something for you and you’d like thoughtful support while you sort through it, I’d love to invite you to schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my Growing Self team. This is a private, secure space where you’ll answer a few simple questions about what’s been happening in your relationships and emotional life, and what you’d like to feel differently. From there, we’ll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can move forward with clarity, self-trust, and care,  instead of staying stuck in patterns that no longer serve you. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs  to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com