#233 - Should I Stay or Should I Go? How to Finally Know for Yourself

2025-08-27

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Have an episode suggestion? Text us!“Should I stay or should I go?” It’s the question every spouse of an addict whispers in the dark, and the one that can paralyze you with fear, guilt, and hope. It's the question with no clear answer. It's not "leave" or "run" or any other number of invalidating things you've heard...it's also not "stay no matter that" or "In sickness and in health used to mean something". It's usually somewhere in between - unless there's abuse - and yes, addiction is a form of abuse. But we're going to di...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!

“Should I stay or should I go?” It’s the question every spouse of an addict whispers in the dark, and the one that can paralyze you with fear, guilt, and hope. It's the question with no clear answer. It's not "leave" or "run" or any other number of invalidating things you've heard...it's also not "stay no matter that" or "In sickness and in health used to mean something". It's usually somewhere in between - unless there's abuse - and yes, addiction is a form of abuse. But we're going to discuss it with nuance.

In this episode, Matt breaks down the truth behind that question so you can finally stop spinning in circles and start discerning what’s right for you.

You’ll learn:

The real reasons you tolerate so much (and why your biology fights against leaving).
How to separate survival wiring from reality so you can see the relationship clearly.
The gut-check questions that cut through denial, like: Would they have stuck around for you?
Why expectations are setting you up for heartbreak.
What to do if you can’t leave yet—and how to lower your expectations for survival without losing yourself.
The non-negotiables that prove sobriety isn’t enough without growth and accountability.

By the end of this episode, you won’t just be asking “Should I stay or should I go?” - you’ll have a better idea, and possibly even the answer on how to answer it for yourself.

Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!

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