515: How to Build Solid Confidence | Nicole Kalil

In this episode, I'm joined by Nicole Kalil for a powerful and practical conversation about confidence.

Nicole has spent years studying, researching, and teaching confidence, and she breaks it down in such a grounded way. Instead of seeing confidence as something we fake, perform, or get from the outside world, Nicole defines confidence as firm and bold trust in self.

We talk about how confidence is something many of us are born with, but begin to lose as we absorb expectations, criticism, people-pleasing, perfectionism, comparison, and what Nicole calls "head trash." She shares the five confidence builders that help us rebuild trust with ourselves, including taking action, moving through fear and failure, giving ourselves grace, choosing confidence, and building internal trust one step at a time.

This conversation is such a beautiful reminder that confidence is not about looking perfect or never feeling afraid. It is about knowing who you are, owning who you are not, and choosing to trust yourself as you take the next right step.

Key Takeaways

• Confidence is not about looking confident. It is about building firm and bold trust in yourself
• Many of us are born trusting ourselves, but life, expectations, criticism, and social conditioning can disconnect us from that trust
• Confidence is built through action, especially small, consistent steps toward what matters most
• Failure, fear, mistakes, and doubt can build deeper confidence when we learn to move through them instead of avoid them
• Giving yourself grace and practicing self-compassion are essential parts of building confidence
• Confidence is a choice we can practice moment by moment until the feeling begins to catch up
• "Head trash" is the unkind and often untrue inner dialogue that chips away at our self-trust
• Perfectionism, comparison, overthinking, and seeking confidence externally can derail confidence
• Keeping commitments to yourself helps build internal trust
• Real confidence comes from knowing who you are, owning who you are not, and embracing all of it

Resources from this Episode:

Nicole Kalil's Website
Nicole's Podcast, This Is Woman's Work

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