What Marriage Asks of Us

Most of us enter marriage hoping to lock in someone who will love us, support us, and make us feel okay about ourselves — no matter what. So when friction, disagreements, and disconnection show up, it can feel like something has gone terribly wrong.

But marriage wasn't designed to keep us comfortable. It was designed to pressure our growth. And the engine of that growth is conflict — the honest collision of two people who see the world differently learning to love each other and create a shared life that makes room for both of them, in all their difference.

In this conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Amy and Greg Langford of the Undressing Intimacy Podcast to explore the ideas at the heart of her book That We Might Have Joy. They discuss what happens when we stop asking marriage to manage our sense of self and start letting it do what it was actually designed to do. The reward is not comfort, Dr. Finlayson-Fife teaches, it's something better — genuine desire, real intimacy, and the gift of two people choosing to share their life with each other.

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