Can perverted songs be redeemed?, Can an engagement survive frustrated desire?, and Can unrequited love still be God’s will? | ACW361

2025-12-01

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Questions answered this episode:I’d like your opinion on popular songs that celebrate the pleasures of sexual union, like that Marvin Gaye song. Can their meaning—or the passions they stir—be redeemed within marriage? It seems many of these songs aren’t good in most contexts, especially those that objectify people. But are some of them acceptable for married couples to listen to privately, if the lyrics don’t violate the personalistic norm and actually draw one’s mind to the joy of union with one’s spouse? I’d love to hear your thoug...

Questions answered this episode:

I’d like your opinion on popular songs that celebrate the pleasures of sexual union, like that Marvin Gaye song. Can their meaning—or the passions they stir—be redeemed within marriage? It seems many of these songs aren’t good in most contexts, especially those that objectify people. But are some of them acceptable for married couples to listen to privately, if the lyrics don’t violate the personalistic norm and actually draw one’s mind to the joy of union with one’s spouse? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
I’m engaged, and after 1.5 years together we’ve had ongoing difficulties. My fiancé has a very strong desire for union with me—not just sexually, but in living together and loving without limits. His desire is so strong that he becomes deeply frustrated by the limits of a premarital relationship, and he grows distant when that frustration hits. He even says it pains him to be with me. His distance makes me hesitant to marry him. It feels unnatural that Eros could be so strong it can’t endure normal premarital boundaries, and it scares me. Is this normal?
I’m a young Catholic woman still in love with a man I met in high school. Back then I felt something spiritual between us—a quiet sense of God saying, “Behold your husband.” He was the first person I ever saw receive the Eucharist kneeling and on the tongue, and it struck me deeply. Though we never acted on anything, seven years later my feelings remain, even though he’s dating someone else and has made choices against his faith. I pray for him daily, but I’m torn: do these prayers honor God, or keep me stuck? Should I keep praying for him or prepare my heart for the husband God intends?

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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