A New Season Begins: Stability, Change and the Family System

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It's fall!! The season of back to school, football and all things pumpkin spice - a season of change. As a career academic, I exist on an academic year, not a calendar year. Fall is my New Year's - new calendar, new supplies, new schedule, new hopes, new plans, new goals - new me!!! Transitioning to this new season, it's reflective of the transitions to new seasons in our lives. When our kids become teenagers, everything in our family system changes. Their issues become more complex. Communication with them becomes more challenging. As moms, we need to understand the processes behind these patterns in our families. Families, as systems, require stability to be well functioning. But family members, especially teens, are constantly evolving, requiring the system to change. A family's need for both stability and change seemingly is a paradox, competing demands on a family as it interacts. Our teens have changed as people from who they were a few years ago, so we need to change as moms and relearn how to parent. we can't use the same old keys to unlock new locks.

At the same time, our teens don't need us like they used to. We are stating to get our identity's back as women, not just as moms. Bu after all of these years, we don't even know her anymore. A change in season is a time for reflection, but that reflection can sometimes lead to nostalgia and a longing for the past. It can also lead to thinking, sometimes anxiously, about the future. But what if instead of focusing on the past, we focused on the present? what if we stopped anxiously worrying about the what its of the future and enjoyed the what is of the present? what if we greeted this new season of our lives with excitement and reframed the narrative to I welcome this new season of my life?

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