98. Type 7 Mom (the Adventurer), Enneagram + Motherhood

The Type 7 on the Enneagram is also called the Enthusiast, or Fun Ninjas (as my friend Julia coined them)

They are spontaneous and open to new experiences.

In this episode, two Type 7 moms share how their Enneagram type empowers them in motherhood and how it shows up in times of stress. 

I also discuss:

• What motivates the Type 7
• What growth looks like as the move towards Type 5
• What stress looks like as the move towards Type 1
• How they handle it when things don’t go their way through a positive reframing
• How noticing other Enneagram Types and learning about them helps us have more appreciation for the inner experience of other moms in our lives

 

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FULL TRANSCRIPT

Hey friends, it’s Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend.ca. Welcome to simplify this podcast. This is a place for you to come if you want to simplify your home, your heart, your life, slow down, pay attention to what matters to you, what’s important to you, what’s in line with your personal values, and show up well for that.

Today, we are covering the enneagram type seven, and I have some fun mom’s sharing about being a type seven mum. The type seven is also called the adventure or the enthusiast, or fun ninjas, as my friend Julia has coined them, and I just love that name, hey, Julia, they are motivated by the need to be happy, have great experiences. And underneath that is a need to avoid pain or suffering. This is why they’re always on the go to the next best thing. They’re spontaneous.

And for me as a type nine, who is very comfort bound, I have found so much freedom in learning about the type seven and seeing that there are people in the world who are comfortable with risk and excitement, even people like my own sister, it has made me love them more. And I just look to them to kind of be my fun Ninjas in my life.

In stress, the type seven will move towards the qualities of a type one, they’ll become critical, impatient, imposing limits on their own behaviors. When they are in a place of growth, they move towards the type five, the observer, they get more quiet and introspective, they can ride that anxiety that they often push away and start to make clear choices about what they want.

For their harmonic groups, how they deal with things when things don’t go their way. They take a positive outlook like the type two and the type nine, they are going to reframe the situation. And the type seven specifically wants to avoid seeing the problems around them in within them and instead focus on staying positive and happy and meeting their own needs. They’re overwhelmed by the idea of meeting the needs of others. So they reframe things, and can have the stance to issues like there may be a problem, but I’m fine.

So months ago, when I put out the call asking mums of different enneagram types to share their experience, you know who sent me one that night, a type seven, they are just ready to go. So let’s hear from these two wonderful type sevens. Jacqueline and Sarah.

Hi, I’m Jacqueline and I am a type seven on the enneagram. I am a mom to four daughters who range in age from seven to almost 13. Knowing my type on the enneagram has been really helpful for understanding myself. And I see being a seven having lots of positives and negatives. As a parent. For the positive, I’m very good at coming up with creative solutions and being flexible. My kids trade bedrooms frequently based on what happens to be working at the time and what people need. I don’t feel particularly worried about changing my mind later. So I’m quick to try different solutions and thinking creatively. And I don’t feel too committed to anything being long term. So if two kids are getting along great and feel lonely at bedtime, I’m don’t have any trouble setting up a mattress on the floor so they can be together longer without worrying about if that’s going to be permanent or not. Can we do lots of fun things that don’t stress me out and make me feel joy in life like sleepovers in the living room or short term road trips or camping in the backyard. All those things are easy and fun for me. I also think that being a seven means I prioritize my relationships with my kids. I am much more concerned about the future than the present, which sometimes means that if we’re having a rough moment, it helps me stay focused on the long term consequences of that moment, I’m not that worried about what other people think and the short term situation so that in some ways is good. However, I do have a very hard time sticking with things that are important but very boring to me. For example, I haven’t done a good job of giving my kids an allowance because I just kind of lose interest. Same with chores, I don’t do chore charts very well and they don’t schedule very well. I definitely am not good at meal planning. Because I find those things boring. And so I’ll start a plan and it’ll last for a couple of months and then I will lose interest. I definitely think it’s important to take care of the basic needs of my children. But when I’m stressed out, I can really withdraw into distraction. So I will spend a long time on my phone or I will spend a long time reading. Again, thinking about something that’s important to me in the world, to the neglect of the things that are right in front of me that I should be focusing on. So, you know, we probably have too many days where we just eat pizza and watch TV and no one cleans anything or organizes anything, because I’m too distracted by reading the news or a novel or playing a game on my phone, and I can’t bring myself to focusing on the important things that are in front of me. Yeah, so I think knowing my enneagram number has been really helpful for me. And I hope it is helpful for others as well.

My name is Sarah, and I’m an enneagram seven, and I have five kids ages 14 down to three, I have three boys and two girls. And the way my seven, this empowers me as a mom, it allows me to handle the chaos of a big family without feeling too overwhelmed. Having five kids is a lot. And it’s wild and crazy and loud and fun. And I just delight in the five viciousness of my home, I feel like I do a good job of keeping my home a fun place to be where we laugh and joke, and there’s positivity and lightness. And I allow my kids to be kids, they can make messes and make mistakes and climb trees and jump on the trampoline. And I really don’t worry too much about those things. Because I really place a high priority on both having fun in life and having a great childhood and also having great relationships with my kids. And I feel like I do a good job with that. And it’s important for me to spend time with each of my kids each day. And so I prioritize my unique relationships with each of my kids. And having the level of energy that I do as a seven I think really helps serve me well, with so many kids, especially parenting teenagers down to toddlers, and being pulled in so many different directions. I think the high energy Enos of my seven is really serves me well enough. And I have a great relationship with my kids, we talk about a lot of things, we laugh together a lot. And I think it’s just a really great place to be. And as a stress point, I go to one when things are stressful and we have five kids things are stressful a lot. And the way it plays out in my life is I get like really neurotic about my home being perfectly clean. It’s that whole like outer order inner calm part of my personality that can just be taken too far. And so how that looks is I will place too much of an emphasis on a clean home and I won’t

have my kids help as much because I can kind of be a little perfectionistic about it. And I’m not a perfectionist about them at all. But I am when it comes to my house when I’m stressed. And the other way that that plays out is it can tend towards burnout. And I can just over plan and overdo and say yes to everything. And I can just really burn myself out and I really have to guard against that because I don’t rest well and I don’t take breaks well. And so I’m I am very prone to burnout and I think that’s probably an insecurity of just kind of never wanting to stop or slow down to kind of face hard things. And so as the seven I think there’s a lot of good and then there’s things that I really have room to grow. And that is how it serves me as a mom.

Thanks so much, Jackie. And thanks so much, Sarah, I love hearing about the experiences that other moms have when they’re different types on the enneagram. It just gives me so much more appreciation for the range of motherhood experiences that we all might be doing similar things outwardly, but we’re doing them for different reasons on the inside. So it just gives me so much more appreciation for all of us as moms having this unique motherhood experience. Alright guys, it’s been a pleasure. I’m gonna follow up with the type eight and nine. And if you are interested in seeing the enneagram q&a that is in the Facebook community group, the symbol and purpose community hop on in there. I’d love to have you there. That’s a place where you can just ask me questions regularly I come on regularly. And I answer Q and A’s I do live Q and A’s try to do them weekly. And you can come in ask any question about decluttering about the enneagram about simplifying about showing up well about motherhood, boat meals, anything that is about simplifying your life, your home your heart and showing up well for it. There is an opportunity for you to come and get supported there. And if that is not your space that you like to hang out in, come on over to Instagram, you can always send me messages on Instagram. I am on there, sharing thoughts and ideas throughout the week. All right. I’ll talk to you soon.