Four Pillars That Transform Conflict and Pain Into Deeper Intimacy

Shownotes 

 

• How to transform difficult moments in a relationship into turning points

• What distinguishes an abusive relationship from a partner with trauma

• How reclaiming your sexuality can take your partnership to a new level

• The four pillars that have helped Aubrey and Brian move through challenges

• The one question to ask yourself when you feel triggered by your partner

• What makes conflict the same as rebuilding your muscles at the gym

Bio

Brian Butts and Aubrey Slaver are relational and shadow alchemists devoted to the art of sacred partnership. Blending parts work, archetypal awareness, and practical communication tools, they have navigated religious deconstruction, addiction, separation, and infidelity and have come out on the other side loving each other more than they ever thought possible. They use radical honesty, safety, and conscious communication as the pillars of their growth.


 

They are currently launching a relationship podcast and developing a framework to help couples transform conflict into connection. With a shared mission to normalize raw, honest relating, they are devoted to helping couples deepen intimacy, decode their stories, create safety, and cultivate a more alive and fulfilling union.

 

You can follow Aubrey, Brian, and their shared work on Instagram.

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Timestamps

 

00:01:20 - Guest introduction

00:02:43 - Layla's advice for staying in a relationship that's incredibly hard

00:05:42 - Discover the VITA™ Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification

00:10:52 - Aubrey and Brian talk about what shaped their early idea of marriage

00:14:28 - Brian shares his mother wound and how it created deep conflict

00:19:52 - A joyful relationship enhances your happiness, it doesn't create it

00:23:00 - The shift for Aubrey that helped her find a way out of constant conflict

00:27:46 - Layla explores what a narcissistic defense mechanism is

00:31:52 - How to transform difficult moments in a relationship into turning points

00:36:20 - Why separating allowed Aubrey and Brian to become themselves again

00:37:59 - [AD] MOOD Sex Magic - Podcast coupon code + 2 free sticks: [MOOD Sex Magic]

00:46:18 - Brian shares what made him want to do the work in the relationship

00:47:35 - What distinguishes an abusive relationship from a partner with trauma

00:50:52 - Aubrey shares what reclaiming her sexuality inside VITA Coaching gave to her

00:59:10 - The four pillars that have helped Aubrey and Brian move through challenges

01:04:00 - If you can't be honest with yourself, you can't work with your truth in partnership

01:07:44 - Aubrey and Brian share what made them choose to return to each other

01:13:08 - The one question to ask yourself when you feel triggered by your partner

01:18:23 - Aubrey shares her experience inside The VITA™ Coaching Certification

01:21:57 - What marriage means to Aubrey and Brian after all the work they've done

01:25:29 - Brian and Aubrey share what they're most grateful for in their relationship

01:29:37 - Conclusion