Why Don’t We Get Better?

2023-01-02

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This is the podcast’s five-year anniversary, and over that time I’ve submerged myself in psychology, self-help, and personal growth content - and as a result I’ve changed in many important ways. At the same time, some things have been very hard to change. It's surprising how even after learning so much I still often feel like I’m pushing the same old rocks up the same old hills. On today’s episode I’m joined by Dr. Rick Hanson to explore why we struggle to get better, how much change is realistically possible, what makes real change hard, the hidden barrie...

On today’s episode I’m joined by Dr. Rick Hanson to explore why we struggle to get better, how much change is realistically possible, what makes real change hard, the hidden barriers to lasting change, and what we can do to overcome them.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

3:55: Why do you want to change?

4:50: Four fundamental strategies

7:00: Three common issues

9:20: Effort, skillfulness, and luck

12:40: People’s autonomy about whether they want to change or not

13:50: “Tailwinds” to help yourself

17:30: Secondary gains, avoiding change, and naming payoffs and costs

24:15: Levity and affection for yourself

27:15: Starting by owning that we choose our behavior

30:10: Resistance and the parts of us that don’t want to change

34:00: Framing, starting with benefits, and absolving shame

39:35: Tactics vs. Strategies

42:30: Celebrating small change, aiming for big healing

46:40: Recap

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