Read OnlineFinding Hope in GriefJesus said to his disciples: “Now I am going to the one who sent me, and not one of you asks me, ‘Where are you going?’ But because I told you this, grief has filled your hearts. But I tell you the truth, it is better for you that I go. For if I do not go, the Advocate will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.” John 16:5–7Each of us experiences grief. The death of a loved one, the loss of a job, and a serious illness are a few of ma...
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Finding Hope in Grief
Jesus said to his disciples: “Now I am going to the one who sent me, and not one of you asks me, ‘Where are you going?’ But because I told you this, grief has filled your hearts. But I tell you the truth, it is better for you that I go. For if I do not go, the Advocate will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.” John 16:5–7
Each of us experiences grief. The death of a loved one, the loss of a job, and a serious illness are a few of many immediate causes of grief. Jesus addresses the grief the disciples were experiencing as they listened to Him explain that He was going to the One Who sent Him, to the Father: “But because I told you this, grief has filled your hearts.”
It’s easy to relate to the disciples’ grief. Imagine that you find out that your best friend is moving to another state. You would have a deep sense of loss upon hearing the news. This is what the disciples were experiencing. The closeness they shared with Jesus was profoundly consoling to them. In Him, they learned so much and began to understand the purity and power of divine love, likely for the first time. The news of His departure filled them with grief.
Emotions are neither good nor bad; they are natural reactions to perceived goods or evils. The disciples’ initial perception of Jesus’ earthly departure was as an undesirable loss, so they felt grief. Jesus, fully understanding human nature, addressed their grief with great empathy. Simply identifying what they were feeling would have been a comfort to them. But Jesus goes further: “But I tell you the truth, it is better for you that I go. For if I do not go, the Advocate will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.”
At Jesus’ words, the disciples might have experienced the beginnings of hope, but they did not fully understand. Only after Jesus left them, ascended to the Father, and sent the Holy Spirit at Pentecost did they begin to understand. And only after living with the presence of the Holy Spirit in their lives for some time did they more fully comprehend the depth of this promise. This reflects our own spiritual journey; it takes time and openness for the wisdom of God’s plan to unfold in our lives.
Whenever we face grief or confusion, we would benefit from pondering this exchange between Jesus and the disciples. Romans 8:28 tells us, “We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” That means “all things,” not just some things. When we fully commit ourselves to God and His perfect will, everything we encounter has the potential to produce good fruit. Every sorrow, joy, cross, victory, or persecution, as well as all the emotions that accompany these experiences, is able to be used as an instrument of God’s grace in our lives, and through us, in the lives of others.
The reason this is so is because of God’s perfect wisdom. From the divine perspective, Jesus transformed suffering and death through His Cross and Resurrection, and nothing is beyond the reach of God’s power. God can use even something as painful as the tragic and sudden loss of a loved one for good.
Believing this instills hope in our lives, which is among the three most important virtues. Faith is the certain belief that God can work all things for good, and hope is the drive that moves us toward the fulfillment of that belief. Together, faith and hope produce charity, the greatest gift of all, the only gift that endures even in Heaven. Just as the disciples later understood the value of Jesus’ departure—when they received the Holy Spirit and discovered that the Lord they loved now lived within them, never to leave—so we too will come to that same realization when we open ourselves to the indwelling of the Holy Spirit through prayer, trust, and surrender to His guidance.
Reflect today on the moment in your life when you faced grief or loss. Offer that memory to God in prayer, asking Him to reveal how His grace was at work in that situation, bringing growth, healing, or a deeper understanding of His love. Ask the Holy Spirit to fill your heart with faith and hope, trusting that even in the face of sorrow, God’s perfect plan is unfolding for good.
Lord of perfect wisdom, I do believe that all things work for the good for those who love You. When I feel pain and grief, please give me hope. Holy Spirit, please come to me and dwell within me, so that all I experience will lead to the good You intend. Jesus, I trust in You.
Image: God the Father, by Jacob Herreyns
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