How Are You? | The No Bullsh*t Guide to a Happier Life

2025-07-01

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Welcome to episode 103. In this episode, I’m exploring why for neurodivergent people - especially those who are autistic - the simple question “How are you?” can feel overwhelmingly complicated. We’ll look at what actually goes on in our brains during moments like this, and why even well-meaning questions can lead to overwhelm or shutdown. I also talk about ways I prefer to be checked in with—and why sharing our communication preferences can help us connect more honestly and kindly. Whether this is your experienc...

Welcome to episode 103. In this episode, I’m exploring why for neurodivergent people - especially those who are autistic - the simple question “How are you?” can feel overwhelmingly complicated. We’ll look at what actually goes on in our brains during moments like this, and why even well-meaning questions can lead to overwhelm or shutdown. I also talk about ways I prefer to be checked in with—and why sharing our communication preferences can help us connect more honestly and kindly.

Whether this is your experience or you're just curious, I hope this episode gives you helpful insight into more supportive ways to communicate. Let’s dive in.

In this episode:

The complexity of the question "How are you?"– Why for many autistic people, this common question can cause anxiety or shutdown (especially during burnout).
The fear of rejection or abandonment – how avoiding social questions can trigger deep fears of being judged, pitied or abandoned.
Alternative ways to show care – suggestions for more accessible check-in questions, and the importance of asking what’s best.

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