The EXTRAORDINARY Family Life Podcast
Kids & Family:Parenting
On Instagram, I saw a reel that stated "Myth: Sex is a need. Fact: Sex is a desire, not a need."
"All of us can live without sex; we cannot live without water, food, or belonging."
I had to disagree and responded: "It depends on how you define 'need'. For survival, no. For connection, bonding, and love -- yes, it's a need. Can you imagine if you're husband said, "You don't NEED me to talk to you. It's just a desire' and then went days, weeks, or months without talking because it's not a 'need'? You would feel pretty neglected. So if you want an extraordinary relationship then sex -- and talking -- are NEEDS.'
While the argument may be true that 'needs' are ONLY things that we can't live without -- water, food, belonging -- it's inaccurate when we're talking about the surviving -- not to mention the THRIVING -- of our marriage relationship.
Yes, people can live without sex. And talking. But an extraordinary marriage cannot.
Of course, there are extremes when sex in marriage is not an option (injury, postpartum, old age). But we're not talking about those rare instances. We're talking about marriages where couples CAN have sex but are NOT having it.
And I get it. As a woman who once *hoped* to find evidence that would convince my husband we never had to have sex again, I know how relieving it can be to believe that his need for sex is not real or is some how wrong or unrealistic.
But it's just not true. Men (and women) want and need intimacy, but for some (usually men) their deepest intimacy takes the form of sex. And that's OK! And when you learn to use both sex and communication together they create an eternal circle of connection between spouses.
Listen to this episode now so you can begin to see sex as an OPPORTUNITY for connection, not a burden or obligation. When you have this paradigm shift then everything changes. And you finally discover the key to building the relationship you've always wanted.
This topic is further expounded on with these episodes:
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
Let us help you in your growth journey.
#162 'Entertainment Overrun' is Creating a Painful Gap Between Here and the Life of Your Dreams
#161 Question Everything -- Including C*vid -- Take Responsibility, And Get Healthy!
#160 "You're Good Enough the Way You Are" Isn't the WHOLE Truth
#159 Teenage Rebellion & "Restaurant Parenting"
#158 The Politicization of C*vid & the V*ccine -- the episode we 'should not' be doing ;)
#157 Our Response to 'Incomprehensibly Stupid' Memes & Current Events
#156 How To Know If You’re WINNING In Life
#155 This Is Why You Misjudge Other People
#154 Learning To WANT What You NEED and LOVE What You Don’t Like
#153 When Being a Good Person Produces Bad Results
#152 Your Money & Your Marriage
#151 What Husbands NEED to Know About Their Wives
#150 The Sex-quel. Follow Up Sex Episode With Rachel Denning
#149 Making Your Mark
#148 What Wives Need to Know About Husbands' (Sex Drive) and What Men Need to Understand About Themselves
#147 Choose To Be a Champion, Even In The Little Things.
#146 Life Lessons From My Brother’s Death
#145 The Corners Of Your Life
#144 She Died In My Arms
#143 Total Transformation Of a Life
Create your
podcast in
minutes
It is Free
Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Focus on the Family Broadcast
Calm Parenting Podcast
Pride and Prejudice
Great Expectations
Good Inside with Dr. Becky
Parenting & You With Dr. Shefali