The EXTRAORDINARY Family Life Podcast
Kids & Family:Parenting
On Instagram, I saw a reel that stated "Myth: Sex is a need. Fact: Sex is a desire, not a need."
"All of us can live without sex; we cannot live without water, food, or belonging."
I had to disagree and responded: "It depends on how you define 'need'. For survival, no. For connection, bonding, and love -- yes, it's a need. Can you imagine if you're husband said, "You don't NEED me to talk to you. It's just a desire' and then went days, weeks, or months without talking because it's not a 'need'? You would feel pretty neglected. So if you want an extraordinary relationship then sex -- and talking -- are NEEDS.'
While the argument may be true that 'needs' are ONLY things that we can't live without -- water, food, belonging -- it's inaccurate when we're talking about the surviving -- not to mention the THRIVING -- of our marriage relationship.
Yes, people can live without sex. And talking. But an extraordinary marriage cannot.
Of course, there are extremes when sex in marriage is not an option (injury, postpartum, old age). But we're not talking about those rare instances. We're talking about marriages where couples CAN have sex but are NOT having it.
And I get it. As a woman who once *hoped* to find evidence that would convince my husband we never had to have sex again, I know how relieving it can be to believe that his need for sex is not real or is some how wrong or unrealistic.
But it's just not true. Men (and women) want and need intimacy, but for some (usually men) their deepest intimacy takes the form of sex. And that's OK! And when you learn to use both sex and communication together they create an eternal circle of connection between spouses.
Listen to this episode now so you can begin to see sex as an OPPORTUNITY for connection, not a burden or obligation. When you have this paradigm shift then everything changes. And you finally discover the key to building the relationship you've always wanted.
This topic is further expounded on with these episodes:
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
Let us help you in your growth journey.
#123 Are you here to participate or to Win?
#122 Attaching Pain to Our Problems
#121 Progress IS Happiness. Happiness is progress.
#120 The Unattractive Secret to Success
#119 How to like yourself For the rest of your life
#118 Finding your life purpose, (& possibly business)
#117 Becoming Unstoppable
#116 Why Good Marriages Fail and What to Do to Protect Yours!
#115 Looking back from your own future
#114 The Effort Effect
#113 REMIND yourself to Live a Heroic Life
#112 Are you living the life you always wanted?
#111 Rethinking How You Do Life
#110 How to think and thrive under pressure
#109 Make It Matter
#108 The 3 Ways Of Living
#107 Fear is the true pandemic
#106 Never underestimate the power of your mind
#105 The BEST Way to Get The Results You Really Want
#104 Increasing your capacity to do MORE with LESS stress and strain
Create your
podcast in
minutes
It is Free
Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Focus on the Family Broadcast
Calm Parenting Podcast
Anne of Avonlea
Frankenstein
Good Inside with Dr. Becky
Parenting & You With Dr. Shefali