Tender Loving Football

The Champions League is back! Marcus, Jim, Andy and Pete run the rule over last night’s clashes, which proved that all you need for European success is a couple of brave English boys and King Kylian.

We also check in with some potential Mauricio Pochettino alternatives at the Bridge, Richarlison auditions for Curb Your Enthusiasm and Sean Dyche parachutes in to save the UK government. Plus: which McDonald’s menu item would make the best shinpads?

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