He Knows, He Just Doesn’t Care. The Truth About Abuse and “Communication” w Aishia Grevenberg | S3E2

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If you have ever thought, “I just need him to understand”, the truth is, he already does.

Lisa is joined by therapist and survivor Aishia Grevenberg for a raw, no-nonsense conversation about why abusive men do not change through communication, therapy, or better explanations. Together, they dismantle the comforting myth that he is confused, emotionally unaware, or just needs you to say it differently.

They explore why abusive men communicate just fine at work, with friends, and in public, yet suddenly “don’t understand” when you express pain. Why couples therapy often makes things worse. Why explaining, proving, and defending yourself keeps you stuck. And why abuse is not a communication issue, but a power issue rooted in entitlement and control.

Aishia breaks down how men use emotional reactions as fuel, how calm becomes your exit instead of your weapon, and why waiting for an epiphany is not the same as change. Lisa weaves in lived experience, naming the moment many survivors finally see the truth. He heard you, he understood you, and he chose to keep hurting you.

Freedom begins when you stop explaining and start listening to what his behavior has been telling you all along.

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

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