You’re Not Doing It Wrong: Why Friendship Looks Different for Everyone

In this episode, we return to one of Friendship IRL’s most quintessential questions: what IS a friend anyway?

Today’s guest is Jeni Holla, who, two and a half years ago, left her conventional job to hit the road with her husband and pups and live the nomad life. They thought this adventure would last six or twelve months but liked it so much they’re still living this lifestyle.

Having a social life on the road is challenging. Jeni doesn’t have many close friends, unlike her husband, who has been close to the same people for decades. When she reached out to Friendship IRL, she said she sometimes felt she wasn’t doing friendship “right.”

The question of what friendship looks like is one I get asked a lot. If you’re like Jeni and her husband, who move frequently, the question is even more pressing. There is no one answer – what works for you might not always be what works for other people, and that’s okay.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• The activities or “plugs” we associate with certain people – and how, often, if you just go do the thing you want to do, you’ll meet other people doing that thing
• Connecting to people in a small town vs. a big city and how Jeni “follows the breadcrumbs” in new towns, often meeting people in third places
• The “ride-or-die” friends, which are difficult to maintain when we get older due to people moving to new places or transitioning to new lifestyles
• The power in knowing what you want out of friendship, which allows you to create a filter and meet people with intention
• The patience required for deep connections, and how there are always more layers you can develop

Resources & Links:

In this episode, I refer to Episode 3, “What is a Friend?”; Episode 12, “Digging Into the 3 Kinds of Friendship Roots”; Episode 38, “Third Places,” and Episode 39, “Take Action.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram! 

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!