The Commentators’ View: Tuchel’s team & texting Tielemans

John Murray, Ian Dennis & Sami Mokbel react to Thomas Tuchel’s England squad ahead of the FIFA World Cup 2026. They also have their say on Arsenal winning the Premier League, Manchester City confirming Pep Guardiola’s departure and Manchester United confirming Michael Carrick as head coach. Plus there are additions to the TCV Dog XI and more suggestions for the Great Glossary of Football Commentary. Messages, questions and voicenotes welcome on WhatsApp to 08000 289 369 & emails to TCV@bbc.co.uk

01:05 Initial thoughts on Tuchel’s squad, 06:45 Arsenal fans celebrate title, 08:55 Hasta luego Pep Guardiola, 11:00 Carrick confirmed as United boss, 17:10 Thomas Tuchel interview, 22:35 Ivan Toney a surprise selection? 25:30 5 Live commentaries this weekend, 32:45 An addition to the TCV Dog XI? 35:35 Unintended pub name from sport commentary, 38:20 Great Glossary of Football Commentary, 40:50 Chris Sutton goes all S Club 7…

5 Live / BBC Sounds commentaries: Sat 1500 Dunfermline v Celtic in Scottish Cup Final on Sports Extra, Sun 1600 Spurs v Everton, Sun 1600 West Ham v Leeds on Sports Extra, Sun 1600 Crystal Palace v Arsenal on Sports Extra 2, Sun 1600 Brighton v Man Utd on Sports Extra 3.

Great Glossary of Football Commentary: DIVISION ONE 50p head Agricultural challenge, Back of the net, Back to square one, Backside and elbows, Booked, Bosman, Bullet header, Caretaker manager, Channel of joy, Coupon buster, Cruyff Turn, Cultured/educated left foot, Dead-ball specialist, Draught excluder, Elastico/flip-flap, False nine, Fox in the box, Giving the goalkeeper the eyes, Grub hunter, Head like a biscuit tin, Head like a sheriff’s badge, Head tennis, Hibs it, In a good moment, In behind, Lollipop, Magic of the FA Cup, The Maradona, Off their line, Olimpico, Onion bag, Panenka, Parachute payment, Park the bus, Perfect hat-trick, Postage stamp, Put his cap on it, Rabona, Roy of the Rovers stuff, Schmeichel-style, Scorpion kick, Spursy, Stick it in the mixer, Sweeper keeper, Taking it to the corner flag, Target man, Tiki-taka, Towering header, Trivela, Where the kookaburra sleeps, Where the owl sleeps, Where the spiders sleep. DIVISION TWO 2-0 can be a dangerous score, Asterisk, Back on the grass, Ball stays hit, Banana skin, Beaten all ends up, Blaze over the bar, Business end, Came down with snow on it, Catching practice, Camped in the opposition half, Cauldron atmosphere, Champagne is on ice, Coat is on a shoogly peg, Come back to haunt them, Corridor of uncertainty, Couldn’t sort their feet out, Easy tap-in, Daisy-cutter, Drop zone, Drubbing, First cab off the rank, Giant-killing, Goalkeepers’ Union, Going down in installments, Good leave, Good touch for a big man, Grandstand finish, Half-time in the tie, Half-turn, Has that in his locker, High wide and not very handsome, Hospital pass, Howler, In the dugout, In the hat, In their pocket, Johnny on the spot, Lackadaisical, Leading the line, Leather a shot, Managerless X, Mazy run, Middle of the park, Needed no second invitation, Needing snookers, Nice headache to have, No-look pass, Nutmeg, On the beach, On their bike, One for the cameras, One for the purists, Piledriver*, Played us off the park, Points on the board, Points to the spot, Prawn sandwich brigade, Purple patch, Put their laces through it, Queensbury rules, Reaches for their pocket, Relegation six-pointer, Rolls Royce, Root and branch review, Row Z, Screamer, Seats on the plane, Sent into raptures, Show across the bows, Sleeping giant, Slide-rule pass, Staving off relegation, Steal a march, Sting the palms, Straight in the bread basket, Stramash, Taking one for the team, Telegraphed that pass, Tired legs, That’s great… (football), Thunderous strike, Tricky winger, Turning into a cricket score, Turns on a sixpence, Twisted blood, Walk it in, We’ve got a cup tie on our hands, We were right behind that, Yo-yo club.