A Covenant, Not a Contract with Rebekah and Gabe Lyons

2025-09-11

Over the course of 28 years of marriage, Rebekah and Gabe Lyons have learned a lot—about not taking their own opinions and preferences too seriously; about the need to understand each other’s pasts; and about the hidden gifts that even negative emotions can offer us. Having compiled many of those lessons into a new book titled The Fight for Us, Rebekah and Gabe talk with Nate Dewberry this week about those and many other marriage topics, including how to keep minor differences of opinion from snowballing into big fights—and what husba...

Over the course of 28 years of marriage, Rebekah and Gabe Lyons have learned a lot—about not taking their own opinions and preferences too seriously; about the need to understand each other’s pasts; and about the hidden gifts that even negative emotions can offer us. Having compiled many of those lessons into a new book titled The Fight for Us, Rebekah and Gabe talk with Nate Dewberry this week about those and many other marriage topics, including how to keep minor differences of opinion from snowballing into big fights—and what husbands can do when they hear the dreaded “I just don’t think we’re connecting” from their wives.

Segments/chapters

0:00 How Rebekah and Gabe met—and what they know now that they wish they’d known then

5:27 What prompted them to write The Fight for Us

9:13 Working on yourselves individually so that you’re stronger as a couple

17:47 Advice for husbands who’ve been told “We’re just not connecting”

22:07 What it means to “choose covenant over consumerism”

26:29 The cultural “headwinds” against marriage, and how we can counteract them

30:32 Closing thoughts: How community has aided Rebekah and Gabe’s marriage

Visit The Redeemed's website for downloadable discussion question sets, show notes, inspirational articles, more resources, or to share your testimony.
Join our Exclusive Newsletter: Signup today and be the first to get notified on upcoming podcasts and new resources!

The Redeemed is an organization giving men from all backgrounds a supportive, judgment-free environment, grounded in Christian love without demanding participation in any faith tradition, where they can open up about their challenges, worries, and failures—and celebrate their triumphs over those struggles.