Will Trump’s Fake White House Have a Churro Bar? An Omelette Station? Or Both?

It’s getting near closing time for the Trumps at the White House—Monday’s electoral college vote made that official. Which means folks like Ivanka Trump have to GTFO and find themselves new careers. 

It might be a bit tricky, Daily Beast contributor and Hysteria host Erin Gloria Ryan explains. Just about everybody hates Ivanka these days—well, except for a handful of Fox-addled octogenarian creepers. That corporate feminism she used to try to embody? That “Hallmark feminism where there's absolutely no substance behind any of the things that she's saying”? It might’ve worked before. In the dying days of 2020, it just makes everyone gag.

And the only thing worse is her “naked desire for her to be seen as an American princess. We literally fought a war so we wouldn't have to live in a monarchy,” Erin tells Molly Jong-Fast on the latest episode of The New Abnormal. 

So she’s settling into a new little palace in Miami. Meanwhile, daddy will be just down the road, setting up shop in his bizarroworld castle, Mar-a-Lago. Jong-Fast and Rick Wilson think it’s only a matter of time before Trump cultists start treating Dear Leader’s place like the real White House—and Donnie looks for new ways to extract cash from his megafans. 

“I’m wondering how much it costs to get him to sign your boobs,” Molly says.

“Free—if you stop at the churro bar,” Rick answers.

“There's going to be an omelet station for sure,” Molly counters. “Or a station and you'll get to say mean things to Eric.” 

But before the festivities begin, there are still a few remaining questions: How many more cabinet members will Trump fire on his way out? How many more Trumpists will declare war on the GOP? Will Donald try to smuggle any Oval Office tchotchkes in his pants? “I'm still curious to know,” Molly says, “does Trump get dragged out of the White House or does he go to Mar-a-Lago and just forget to come back?”

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