116: Why ”Nice Guys” Have Bad Sex Lives: A Sextimony

Are you a "nice guy" or married to a "nice guy?" "Nice" isn't to be confused with genuinely kind and caring. By nice, I mean one that hints around at what he wants from his wife, but doesn't really ask for it in case she doesn't want to either, or that it might upset her or that he might be disappointed later.

So a "nice guy" is just never really direct about what he wants, doesn't really own it, and his emotional center seems to be revolve around his wife rather than taking ownership for his own feelings. This is also the type of person that goes the extra mile for his wife, but has ulterior motives in it, and when he doesn't get what he wants or when it doesn't kind of pan out the way he wants, even though he never clearly expressed what he wanted from the beginning, he feels cheated.

My guest today is Brian Wagstaff. Brian is a member of my next level coaching program and a graduate of my men's coaching program. Brian is a successful entrepreneur and has a wonderful family and a recovering "nice guy." Today he shares his journey of recognizing his nice guy tendencies, the struggles he faced in his marriage, what changes he had to make, and how he made them, and how his marriage and intimacy is tremendously better today than it was before.

 

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