E242: Penis Performance Problems: What’s Really Going On (And What To Do About It)

Penis performance issues are way more common than most people realize… and way more misunderstood than they need to be.

Today’s episode came straight from your questions — from trouble getting or keeping an erection, to finishing too quickly (or not at all), to the stress, shame, and “what does this mean about us?” thoughts that sneak in — we’re breaking it all down.

This episode is about understanding what’s happening, supporting your partner with compassion, and learning how to navigate these moments in a way that brings you closer — not further apart.

💛 In this episode, you’ll hear:

• What commonly causes penis performance issues — and why it’s rarely just one thing.

• Whether long-term porn use can affect erection quality or performance.

• If masturbating “too often” can actually create problems.

• How stress, anxiety, and aging can impact erections (and why it’s not a personal failure).

• The connection between low testosterone and ED — and how to navigate it when a partner refuses treatment.

• Whether circumcision has any link to penis performance issues.

• How to bring up concerns about ED with a partner who doesn’t seem to recognize there’s an issue.

• What these challenges mean emotionally — and what they don’t say about attraction, masculinity, or your relationship.

• How to approach the conversation with compassion instead of pressure or panic.

🔗  Links + Resources🔥 The Ultimate Foreplay Guides

Taking the pressure off intercourse can help a lot. The Ultimate Foreplay Guides help couples expand what counts as sex, reduce performance anxiety, and build pleasure and connection (without relying on erections to lead the way).

It’s our #1 best-selling and best-reviewed guide for a reason.

Click right here 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay

❤️ Ready to reconnect?

Take our free Intimacy Quiz to uncover what’s missing (and how to get it back).

Discover your intimacy type and get personalized tools to help you communicate better, desire more, and feel closer than ever.

👉 Take the quiz now and unlock your results: https://vmtherapy.com/5keys

Stay connected

📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/vanessaandxander

💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe

🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!

==========================

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

==========================

👏Thanks Cure. Staying hydrated isn't just about water - you also need electrolytes. That's why we love Cure. It's clean and tastes great! Real ingredients. Real hydration. You can grab Cure on Amazon or find a store near you. ➡︎https:www.curehydration.com/PILLOW

👏Thanks Blissy. Because you’re a listener, Blissy is offering 60-nights risk-free PLUS use code PILLOWPOD to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you!➡︎https://blissy.com/PILLOWPOD