RE 547: A Better Question to Ask

Today we have Brian. He is 40 years old from Spring Hill, MA and he took his last drink of alcohol on July 16th, 2024.

 

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[03:25] Thoughts from Paul:

 

Paul shares with us Bill W., the founder of AA once shared letters back and forth with Swiss psychologist Carl Yung looking for feedback on the program he was creating. Perhaps the most important letter from Yung to Bill W. was a letter suggesting a spiritual solution was needed to overcome addiction. He was a firm believer that addiction has nothing to do with weakness but is a misdirected cry for wholeness.

 

Another viewpoint that Carl Yung gave us is to not ask why you want to quit drinking but what pain you are trying to silence? Or what role is alcohol playing?

 

When we start asking the right questions and stop fighting the addiction, the healing process begins. If you keep doing your own inner work, the massive ship called your addiction will change course. It takes time to redirect the energy called an addiction, but when we start asking the right questions, it’s going to happen. It’s just a matter of time.

 

[07:36] Paul introduces Brian:

 

Brian is 40 years old and lives in Springfield, MA. He has been married 13 years, and they have two children. For fun he enjoys weight training, cooking, and spending time with his kids.

 

Brian is the oldest of four kids and his parents divorced when he was young. He shares that he internalized a lot of stuff growing up and carried a lot of emotion. Brian wasn’t the kid to act out, but he recalls the first time he drank was when his mother was out of town and he ended up getting very sick. He says it taught him a lesson, and he didn’t party much in high school.

 

In college, Brian says, alcohol acted like that warm hug that people talk about. It gave him a lot of confidence socially and he became friends with people older than him. Once they started graduating, he lost a lot of the friends he drank with, so he found himself drinking alone occasionally which he didn’t think there was anything wrong with.

 

After graduation, the job market was tough which had Brian stressed out and he began using alcohol as a coping mechanism. He was drinking daily and ended up getting pancreatitis after a while, which was a bit of a wake up call for him. The drinking didn’t end but Brian began to try and moderate.

 

Over the years Brian was able to quit for periods of time but would return to drinking to cope with traumatic events. He was working on sobriety, watching YouTube videos, trying naltrexone and listening to podcasts. He was making progress, but COVID came and knocked him down again.

 

Brian did not want to fall onto the same path that his father had with his alcoholism. Brian had a rock bottom moment when his behavior on a vacation had him showing a negative side of himself to his in-laws.

 

On the weekend of his wife’s birthday, Brian had a few days sober, and his internal voice was trying to convince him to drink. He turned on the RE podcast while he was mowing the lawn and soon after had made the decision that he was going to quit drinking forever. He then burned the ships and told his wife about his decision.

 

Since quitting drinking Brian’s health has improved, he has lost 35 pounds and has found a community in Café RE. He is planning on finding more connection locally to him through AA soon.

 

Brian’s parting piece of guidance: listen to your heart rather than your brain. Follow your instincts.

 

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

 

 

 

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