95. Protecting Connection with Our Kids: Brain Science Insights with Robyn Gobbel

In this insightful episode, the Vallottons sit down with Robyn Gobbel, an expert in relational neuroscience and interpersonal neurobiology, to discuss a transformative approach to understanding and supporting children's challenging behaviors. Robyn shares her journey from being a psychotherapist to becoming a dedicated advocate for families, particularly those dealing with complex trauma or adoption histories. The conversation centers around her influential book, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work, which has been a key resource for the Vallotton family as they navigate their daughter’s sensory modulation challenges. Robyn’s guidance encourages parents to look beyond difficult behaviors and address the underlying needs driving them, ultimately fostering deeper connections.

The discussion delves into the dynamic relationship between "connection" and "protection" modes within the nervous system, highlighting how these states impact both parents and children. Robyn explains the pivotal role of safety in building healthy connections and offers practical insights for handling real-life scenarios, such as when a child reacts with unexpected aggression. The Vallottons and Robyn explore the journey parents often face—from feelings of guilt to a deeper self-awareness—while learning to support their children’s emotional regulation and maintaining their own.

Listeners will also be introduced to the "owl, watchdog, and possum" framework that helps parents decode children’s behaviors as signs of their needs rather than intentional defiance. The episode wraps up with actionable strategies for supporting children’s emotional regulation, emphasizing that a parent’s regulation is equally essential. Robyn’s compassionate and knowledgeable approach equips parents with valuable tools to nurture strong connections and guide children through their toughest moments. This episode is essential listening for parents seeking a new perspective on navigating complex behaviors and fostering resilient, loving relationships with their children.

Where to find Robyn Gobbel:
https://robyngobbel.com/
@robyn.gobbel

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