Christmas with Pontifacts! (Patron Saints of France)

The most wonderful time of the year was made even more wonderful by our first ever guests, Bry and Fry of the Pontifacts podcast, who rate all of the popes from Peter to Francis. Complemented as ever by the splendid humour of Fry and Eliza, Bry and Ben recount the tales of the five patron saints of France who have been woven into our story so far: Saint Petronilla, Saint Denis, Saint Martin, Saint Remy and Saint Radegund. 

This is definitely not your average Christmas episode! We've got a guy carrying his own severed head, an emperor's butt being set on fire and a dove descending from the sky with a Molotov cocktail, just to name a few incidents. We also find out that not only could women read in the Dark Ages (shocker!), but one of them could even speak to frogs! How very French of her.

Go read about the INSANE story St Ulphia wrote!

And of course, listen to Pontifacts!

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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

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CATEGORIES

Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

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