CELESTIALS Remastered - Holy, Radiant, and Deeply Passive-Aggressive

2025-08-16

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Bask in the divine glow (and probably a few judgmental stares) as we ascend into the celestial tiers of tabletop gaming. Wings, halos, and passive-aggressive deities await. Did you miss out on our earlier, holier episodes? Good news! RPGBOT.net is now uploading archived episodes of the RPGBOT.Podcast to YouTube. That means you can binge our past wisdom, war crimes, and winged lectures while pretending to work or praying for better dice rolls. Subscribe now, and receive one free celestial side-eye from a planetar of your choice. ...

Bask in the divine glow (and probably a few judgmental stares) as we ascend into the celestial tiers of tabletop gaming. Wings, halos, and passive-aggressive deities await.

Did you miss out on our earlier, holier episodes? Good news! RPGBOT.net is now uploading archived episodes of the RPGBOT.Podcast to YouTube. That means you can binge our past wisdom, war crimes, and winged lectures while pretending to work or praying for better dice rolls. Subscribe now, and receive one free celestial side-eye from a planetar of your choice.

SHOW NOTES

Summary:
The team cracks open the heavens and explores all things Celestial—those upper-planar beings with immaculate vibes and judgmental glowing eyes. From the serene beauty of devas to the bureaucratic nightmare of Inevitables, this episode dissects how Celestials work in your TTRPGs: their lore, how to use them as plot devices, and what happens when your party tries to seduce them (again).

With their signature blend of encyclopedic knowledge and chaotic sarcasm, the RPGBOT crew explores:

What even is a Celestial? (Hint: It's not just a cleric who moisturizes.)
The pantheon of celestial creatures — from unicorns to couatls to things that make angels look like interns.
How to use Celestials in your campaigns as guides, gatekeepers, or judgmental ex-boyfriends from the Upper Planes.
Playing Celestial-adjacent characters without becoming the party's shining buzzkill.
Why DMs love Celestials as moral speed bumps, divine errand runners, and "plot with wings."
Alignments, ethics, and radiant damage—aka, "why your murderhobo has trust issues."
Campaign concepts involving Celestials: The angelic war in heaven, the paladin's divine caller ID, and the fallout from killing something with a name like "Seraph of Eternal Grace."

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

Celestials aren't just pretty faces with glowing swords—they can be plot-critical entities with vast powers and even vaster egos.
They work great as moral foils, quest-givers, or that one NPC who insists on "just talking things out."
Radiant damage is what happens when light therapy goes wrong.
Celestials in tabletop games should feel alien, awe-inspiring, and occasionally bureaucratic—like divine HR.
If your party sees wings and decides to fight first, you might be the problem.
The line between "savior" and "divine stalker" is thinner than an astral thread.
Couatls are snakes that glow, fly, read your thoughts, and judge your fashion choices.
Not all angels are good, not all demons are evil, and not all players understand subtlety.

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Tyler Kamstra