Don’t Try This at Home

In "Don't try this at home," Teale and Figs give each other feedback—something that is not a good idea when couples are fighting or feeling reactive with each other.

They take turns asking each other two questions: "What is my best quality?" and "What do I need to work on?"

From a place of de-escalation (not in conflict, feeling connected), they are able to express the qualities they are most impressed by, and—in both cases—how that same quality can have a negative side.

Figs values Teale's ability to approach the world with excitement and positivity. He also notices how Teale's efforts to fit a lot into the day can create overwhelm in himself and in Teale.

Teale recognizes Figs' creativity in work and daily life, as well as the ways his passionate focus can lead to a sense of disconnection from her and from his life.

Both of these perspectives—while subjective—capture the positive and negative ways each other's behavior lands, and serve as a potential frame for adjusting and improving their lives into 2023.

Relationship Experts Walk The Talk is a deep dive into the struggles, cycles, and joys of relationship from couple and counselors Figs and Teale. Learn how to repair conflict and understand each other through their personal therapy sessions, storytelling, and expertise as couples therapists.

To submit a question for Figs and Teale to answer, email figs@empathi.com or leave a comment on YouTube, Instagram, or Apple Podcasts.

If you or someone you love are struggling in your relationship, visit empathi.com for the relationship quiz, courses, and therapy consultations.