#436: How Not to Care: Detaching from People’s Opinions of You

  Podcast #436 How Not To Care: Detaching From People's Opinions of You Learning how not to care too much about what people think is possible, when you learn how to master your mindset and train your thoughts. This podcast episode will teach you how to detach from people's opinions of you, how to be free from all of the "what if's" that keep us looped into playing small with our lives, and the side effects of being a people pleaser or simply trying to be liked by everyone. Get the full show notes at www.trishblackwell.com/436   In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we're talking about:  Why we care so much and what it's doing to usHow to not care: 15 things to remember5 mindset shifts to help you detach from other people's opinions    REVIEW OF THE WEEK:  Equipped and Prepared to Thrive, 5-Stars by MotherofGrace Trish's work has helped me in so many ways to clean up my stinkin' thinkin'. I am now lighter and less anxious because of the tools I have learned through her podcast and YouTube videos.  I am a big fan of using her methods of parenting my negative thoughts. It is so simple and massively effective.  Thank you, Trish, for all of the wisdom you bring! You are a blessing!    THE OVERCARING LOOP I am someone who cares a lot. Inherently, that's a good thing. But it can be unhealthy too. I had to learn how to not care, especially how to not care about what people thought of me. Detaching yourself from other people's opinions can be hard, because chances are, you're like me and have trained for brain for years, if not decades, to attach your worth, acceptance and security to these opinions. My swim coaches used to try to get me to stop caring so much by telling me to just not care. They also told me I tried to hard, and to just "try to stop trying so hard." Ya'll. I found myself in a loop that I couldn't get out of.   "Trying to stop trying." "Keep caring, but don't care too much." It felt like I was trying to solve a riddle that had no answer. But then I figured out a new way to approach it: I had to learn to stop holding on so tightly to the false sense of control I got from all the caring and all the trying. And ya'll, it works. You deserve the freedom that comes from the tools I share on this podcast episode. I can't wait to hear what you think!   WHY WE CARE SO MUCH AND WHAT IT'S DOING TO US Raised conformists.The traditional path seems the safest.We're tribal and need people.We've attributed too much power to others.We haven't taken the time to be our own validation voice (#433)Conflict scares usWeird is twisted Maybe you don't resonate with being a people pleaser, but maybe it's simply manifested differently, through wanting to be cool - to be influential, to be well-liked, to be included, to be powerful, to be a leader, to be popular. It boxes us in. It labels us. It makes us beat ourselves up. It incites the voice of self-criticism.  I used to be the queen of beating myself up. Self-critical? Perfectionist? Yep. But I would just word it differently, like "Oh, I'm just tough on myself," and I thought it was okay, but it wasn't.  To be honest, it was such a daily part of my life and in how I thought about myself and the world that I didn't think there was any other way.   I was happy on the outside, but anxious, disappointed and always stressed on the inside. Beating yourself up all the time bruises you from the inside out. You can't always see the wounds, but they are there and they handicap you in a painful way. It leads to overthinking, impersonation, playing small, tip-toing, self-doubt and the jerk-brain. Haven't listened to episode #433, How to Be Your Own Validation Voice? Click here to listen: www.trishblackwell.com/433   HOW TO NOT CARE SO MUCH Remember no one is thinking about you as much as you think they are.Remember that everyone is weird. Remember that controlling opinions is like catching the wind.