E205: Emotional Sponges: How to Stop Absorbing Other People’s Feelings by Defining Your Boundaries and Building Your Emotional Regulation Tools - A Behind the Scenes Look into my Small Group ADHD Coaching Program Lighthouse

2023-09-05

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When your child charges in the room raging or super sour, how do you react? Do you immediately tense up, knowing that the battle is about to begin? When your spouse arrives home, do you listen to the noises they make outside the door to prepare yourself if they’ve had a rough day at work? Does your stomach fall into the pit of your stomach, because you know the rest of the night is ruined? For most of my life, someone else’s bad mood would ruin my mood. Every time...

When your child charges in the room raging or super sour, how do you react?

Do you immediately tense up, knowing that the battle is about to begin?

When your spouse arrives home, do you listen to the noises they make outside the door to prepare yourself if they’ve had a rough day at work?

Does your stomach fall into the pit of your stomach, because you know the rest of the night is ruined?

For most of my life, someone else’s bad mood would ruin my mood. Every time.

And I hated it.

It didn’t matter if it was family, friends, waitress, teacher… I felt them.

I didn’t want their sour, grumpy, or angry feelings poisoning my mentality. But I didn’t know how, or even that I could, separate their feelings from my own.

Many of us with ADHD, especially those who are more inattentive or socialized as women, are emotional sponges when it comes to other people's feelings, problems, and struggles.

From a strength side makes us super empathetic and great friends. Where it can become a struggle bus is when we don't know how to turn it off. Our big, messy emotions don’t have to be a liability!

It may have taken me 40 years, but I want you to know that it is possible to still be a highly empathetic and kind person who also holds tight boundaries and takes care of themselves.

Today I’m sharing one of the strategies to do it!

I pulled a clip from the last round of my ADHD group coaching program, Lighthouse, teaching how you can begin to define your boundaries, understand where and how you feel safe, and lean into your big emotions as a strength.

So get comfy, lower as many distractions as you can, and let’s dive into how you can keep the yuck out while still connecting with your children, spouse, or coworkers in a way that is comfortable and secure for you.

Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-205-emotional-spongs-stop-absorbing-others-feelings-boundaries-emotional-regulation-adhd

If you’d like more support like this, the next round of Lighthouse Group ADHD Coaching starts September 14th.

In 3 months together, we’ll get your daily schedule sorted and your emotional regulation tools sharpened, so that you can connect home to what matters to you, start trusting yourself again, and and build the life you want to live.

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