Eps 415: Navigating sibling dynamics with Erica Whitfield

My guest today is Erica Whitfield.  

I don’t have many episodes about sibling dynamics, so I’m very excited to have Erica here to dig into scapegoated siblings. Erica explains what exactly a scapegoated sibling is and why some kiddos may feel disconnected from their parents. We get into other roles that siblings may fall into and how we, as parents, can make sure we’re there to hold & support all of our kids. Erica talks about how past trauma can affect our parentings and how we can recognize if we’re starting to scapegoat. I ask Erica what to do if we notice that we’re in that dynamic, and we touch on how neurodivergence, birth order, & your own relationships and history can affect these roles. Erica explains what to do to start repair - asking for feedback, negotiating, and finding balance, & justice, and we explore a few different ways to ask for that feedback. 

Takeaways from the show

• What is a scapegoated sibling? 
• Nurturing communication between siblings 
• Resentment between siblings 
• Other roles that kids can fall into 
• How to communicate to your child that you can handle their challenges & journey 
• Signs you may be scapegoating one child 
• How to correct when you see yourself in this dynamic 
• Neurodivergence, birth order, & your own relationships playing into these roles 
• “Dynamics play out until they get healed” 
• Inviting & preparing for feedback from your teens about their experience

For more details, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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