Arsenal desperately scramble, Palace’s Lampard gamble, and Rangers’ unbeaten ramble

Arsenal scored what might be the most chaotically awful goal of the season to keep their Europa Conference League fire flickering. Jules, Luke and Andy pour scorn over that blaze after some bizarre comments from Mikel Arteta in the post-match.

There’s plenty of time for other nonsense elsewhere, as Plymouth’s vaccination queues inadvertently snake towards Argyle’s club shop and Sir Alex Ferguson gives Steven Gerrard some valuable advice. In relocation news, the Champions League final’s off to Porto and there’s murmurs of Frank Lampard arriving late into the Selhurst Park box, slotting his CV in the net.

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