#013 Chores: how to raise helpful, considerate children who *want* to help out

This week I'm talking about chores and getting our kids to tidy up.

Is it worth the battle?

Will we raise selfish, entitled children if we don't make them do the chores?

Chores is certainly a loaded subject for parents.

We worry that our child will grow up to be selfish or they’ll expect others to clear up for them.

“House work” or clearing up is often seen by us as a chore, something we’d rather not do, a bother - demeaning women’s work

Instead we can come with the attitude that we want to live in a tidy house, we want to take care of our things, we can take pride in putting things away in an orderly fashion.

Kids quickly acquire beliefs about tidying up and chores being unpleasant

We also have this idea that kids should go and do chores or tidy up on their own when in fact collaboration is the key.

Let's get clear about what builds cooperation and a spirit of working together. A spirit of “we all help each other out” vibe in your family.

It is led by our relationship with our kids - one of collaboration, kindness, respect, joyfulness, fun and playfulness.

The attitude that “we are a team”.

“In this family we help each other out”

What doesn’t help is expecting kids to do chores alone.

If you are entering into power struggles a lot about chores, it might be good to ask yourself:

• Where is this coming from?
• What does this remind you of from your own childhood?
• Where you frequently told what to do?

The biggest tip I have is to make it fun and connecting.

• Play games
• Special Time beforehand, 5 or 10 minutes play together to boost connection
• Sing a tidy up song
• Race against a favourite song
• Do it together

Some ideas for making it fun:

1. Sing a tidy up song
2. Play a tidy up song or any silly song your child loves “We’ve got to get this all cleared up before the song is over”, then fall over, bump into things, put things away in the wrong place.
3. You can be the awkward one and invite your child to talk you into tidying up
4. Get it wrong - put things in the wrong the place, your child will get satisfaction out of telling you how to do it right.
5. Tidy your child up, scoop them up and run around the room.
6. Get them to help out with a mini hoover or squirty bottles for the shower door, let them mop the floor messily and get water everywhere.
7. Use a cart/scooter/bike to load things up and deliver the things to the right places.
8. Reverse psychology - I hope nobody tidies up while I’m away upstairs.
9. Turn it into a dance party
10. The toy chest is a monster that talks to them “I’m the toy monster, you must feed me”
11. Use it as a time for connection (even if your child doesn't’ join in).

Full permission if you don’t feel playful to let it go and focus on the relationship.

Thanks for joining me. If you’re ready to get your kids listening so you don’t have to shout, and instead you can start enjoying being a parent, then get signed up to my next virtual Peaceful Parenting Masterclass.

Follow me on social media:

www.instagram.com/PamParentCoach

www.fb.me/PamParentCoach

www.pamtheparentcoach.com