Growing Up with an Emotionally Immature Parent, Boundaries, Late Diagnosis ADHD - Mina Yoon, MFT

In this conversation, Yellow Chair Therapist, Mina Yoon, shares her experiences growing up with an emotionally immature parent and her late diagnosis of ADHD. We explore the complexity of parent-child relationships and the importance of setting boundaries. She highlights the impact of shame and the validation that comes with an ADHD diagnosis.

Takeaways

• Adult children of emotionally immature parents may struggle with setting boundaries and experience guilt and shame.
• Understanding the signs and symptoms of emotionally immature parents can help individuals recognize and address the impact on their lives.
• Starting the path of recovery without therapy can involve self-reflection, research, and self-compassion.
• Preserving the relationship with a parent while setting boundaries is possible and can be beneficial for one's mental health.
• Late diagnosis of ADHD is common, especially in women and people of color, and can provide validation and understanding.
• Hyper-focus is a common trait in ADHD, leading to intense interest in hobbies or activities that may be dropped abruptly.

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction
• 03:59 Enjoyed preschool, felt like authentic self. Good food, friends, carefree, vivid memories.
• 08:17 Relating to books and being seen.
• 10:16 Emotionally immature parent acts like a child.
• 13:27 Asian family dynamics: trust, independence, and extremes.
• 17:28 Complex trauma leads to identity and control loss.
• 22:19 Cultural influence on setting boundaries with family.
• 25:12 Setting boundaries preserves relationships while prioritizing self.
• 28:40 Struggled academically after elementary school, college performance poor.
• 31:58 ADHD diagnosis helps reduce shame, provides validation.
• 36:48 Struggling with focus, need deadlines and consequences.
• 40:32 Being honest and apologizing helps manage shame.
• 43:39 Balancing self blame with reflection, overcoming challenges.
• 45:41 Surrendering addiction, seeking approval, learning from adversity.
• 49:55 Continuously working through life, a lifelong journey.
• 51:26 Finding freedom in small steps towards authenticity.