How to Click With Anyone, Read Every Room, and Stop Absorbing Other People’s Stress | Kate Murphy

2026-05-25

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The neuroscience of human connection: your nervous system is picking up other people's signals all day without your knowledge. Here's how to use that. Journalist Kate Murphy's eclectic essays and articles for The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Economist, Agence France-Presse, and Texas Monthly have been shared and commented on by millions. She is known for her fresh and accessible style and ability to distill complex subjects, particularly the science behind human interactions. Her first book, You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters, was published in thirty-two languages and has become required reading in interpersonal...

The neuroscience of human connection: your nervous system is picking up other people's signals all day without your knowledge. Here's how to use that.

Journalist Kate Murphy's eclectic essays and articles for The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Economist, Agence France-Presse, and Texas Monthly have been shared and commented on by millions. She is known for her fresh and accessible style and ability to distill complex subjects, particularly the science behind human interactions. Her first book, You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters, was published in thirty-two languages and has become required reading in interpersonal communication courses at high schools, colleges, and universities worldwide.

In this episode we talk about:

What "interpersonal synchrony" is and the science behind it
Why some people just click — and others don't
How individualism and technology are working against our need to connect
What "affective presence" is –– and how much you can actually change your vibe
Interoception – and why you need to understand your own body before you can read others
The dark side of synchrony: emotional fusion and borrowed emotions
Why audio-only calls are better than Zoom for real connection
How physical distance controls your ability to sync
"Emotional aperture" — how to read a room like a trial lawyer
The secret to bonding with other people

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Additional Resources:

Why We Click: The Emerging Science of Interpersonal Synchrony

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