Santa’s Slay (2005)

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This December is “Satanic Santa” month at Catching Up On Cinema!

All month long, we'll be reviewing Christmas movies featuring murderous, rampaging Santa Claus!

This week, Kyle and Trevor review David Steiman's, Santa's Slay (2005)!

Starring former NFL player and pro wrestler Bill Goldberg as the titular Santa, Santa's Slay (2005) is an unrepentantly juvenile and lewd horror-comedy with its tongue firmly planted in its rosy, sugar plumb encrusted cheeks.

Clumsily scripted, but ably performed, Santa's Slay is a Christmas film penned by a writer's room of young bros raised purely on a media diet of South Park, Vince Russo-era WCW, and a never ending loop of Girls Gone Wild commercials.

Eric Cartman was their father.

Scott Steiner, their mother.

The steel drum anthem of the Girls That Have Gone Wild For Want of Beer and Beads, their evening lullaby.

Lit like a Scary Movie film, with a horrendous soundtrack consisting of unknowable, bargain bin Christmas(?) songs and low grade midi tracks, Santa's Slay is nevertheless a competent production, with fine costuming for the title character, a larger comprehensible narrative, and occasionally decent production values.

A fun, good-bad ride for the majority of its scant 78 minute runtime, Santa's Slay unfortunately fails to outright stick the landing, with a baffling and utterly flat finale that feels suspiciously like a result of the production losing access to Bill Goldberg prior to filming a proper conclusion.

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