044 - Love in the Time of Gymkata

SARA KATE WILKINSON is back for CHRISTMAS AT THE PALACE and: How a Christmas movie ends ... THEME ... Present! ... Royalty and figure skating ... Well above average ... The Expositional Challenge: Will SK's streak continue? ... Brittany Bristow Appreciation Station ... Secondary plot almost stealing the show ... Elizabeth Reaser Apprectiation Station ... Andrew Cooper: handsome, accented, COPD ... End objectification ... BREAK ... Plug! ... SK's The Last Ship take ... Spot the Angel: Ghost fakeout goose egg ... San Senova's batsh*t founding legend and mythical astronomy ... Clutching a Rope Holding a Scope ... Grinch King vs. Christmas King ... Canceling on diplomacy for your teen ... Deposition via feet ... CORRECTION: The Battle of Jena was in 1806, and you'd think Jeb'd know this, since he wrote a term paper about it ... Abduct my daughter, please! ... Real talk, Kings, give money for Christmas, please ... BREAK ... Eat Your Heart Out: Adorable Christmas cookies, Frankensteined leftover canapés ... Hallmark Expanded Universe: Where is the Millers' farm? vs. Max Powers' overseas set and Gus Van Houten's casino empire ... The Netherlands Windmill Museum as an entire country ... Juddering camera ... His Majesty's putting green ... BREAK ... Overdetermined: Jessica's plot recap vs. That Thing Your Mom Used to Say Medley ... Understudy BS ... Crossover: British boys' school handjob romp vs. Anne Hathaway/Julie Andrews backstabbing romp vs. Gymkata ... BREAK ... Hallmark Bechdel Test: Yes! ... Great Moments in Moppetry: Rated 1 ... The Leftovers: King Arthur font ... Geometrically increasing garland ... Small ice rink, limited citizenship ... "You were so close" ... "Do we curtsey?" ... A family tradition of carrying the tree wrong ... Dr. Giggles ... BREAK ... Helen, Georgia and Mayor Cinnamon ... Rating: 4+ ... Notting Hill poach ... Oh no, no beau ... Date and Ruler of the Underworld and never say goodbye to a loved one again ... Slow-mo emo ... Sizzler ... San Senova Christmas Pageant DVD bonus ... Jump-cut stories and wordless walkoff blocking ... The Royal Marital Aids ... Merry Christmas ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "If U Want It," from Cyber-Vision, by Drew Fairweather • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane