#182: What to Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Want to Work on Themselves (or the Relationship)

One of the hardest things to face in a relationship is feeling like you're growing and evolving, while your partner seems simply unwilling to meet you there. Maybe you’ve suggested therapy, brought up recurring issues, or shared books and podcasts you love, only to be met with silence, shutdown, or defensiveness.

In this episode, we’re exploring what to do when your partner doesn’t seem interested in personal growth or improving the relationship. We’ll talk about why this happens, what it means (and doesn’t mean), and how to navigate it in a way that honours your own needs without defaulting to blame or control.

Whether you're in a long-term partnership or navigating something newer, this conversation will help you feel more grounded and clear in how you show up when things feel one-sided.

In this episode, I cover:

• Why some people resist self-work or relationship growth
• How attachment styles shape our responses to discomfort and change
• The difference between inviting vs. demanding growth
• Why your healing doesn’t depend on your partner's participation
• What to do when you’ve tried everything and still feel stuck

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
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• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website