Complex Marriages: How to Stay and When to Leave with Barbara Grant

Join Stephanie and Barbara, who will talk about the pain of divorce and how NDCCs may find themselves needing to separate or divorce or live in separate spaces. Barbara has been a co-leader with Stephanie for NT Christian wives in AS marriage. We will also talk about the stigma often placed on people who divorce in the church community.
Both Barbara and Stephanie believe in Covenant marriage and are pro-marriage and pro-NDCC. However, I like to quote my mentor Leslie Vernick, "I believe in the sacrament of marriage but not to the detriment of the individuals in the marriage. Jesus died for individuals, not to save institutions." Today is a sensitive topic, but we will discuss how to stay and when or how to know it is time to leave.

We Mentioned the Stage of Change and Preparation for Coaching/Counseling:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-addiction/202110/understanding-the-process-change#:~:text=Key%20points,an%20individual%20in%20another%20stage.
A PowerPoint Stephanie found about Stages of Change and Making Change:
https://portal.ct.gov/-/media/DMHAS/CSP/CSPStagesofChangeModelpdf.pdf?la=en

Another resource mentioned is Leslie Vernick's book: Emotionally Destructive Marriage
https://leslievernick.com/the-emotionally-destructive-marriage/

Gretchen Bakerville: Life Saving Divorce: Hope for people leaving emotionally destructive relationships.
https://www.amazon.com/Life-Saving-Divorce-Leaving-Destructive-Relationships/dp/1734374721

About Barbara Grant:
Barbara Grant, CAS, NCC, is a Certified Autism Specialist (IBCCES) and certified
Neurodiverse Couples Coach (AANE) and is near the completion of her Master's in MFT
(Marriage and Family Therapy.) She has been coaching and offering Biblical counseling since
2005, working with individuals, couples, and groups. Her current coaching practice focuses on
neurodiverse couples, individuals, and families, as well as offering support groups for
neurotypicals. Barbara enjoys people! She herself is neurotypical; her first marriage (of 20 years) was to a neurodiverse partner. She is re-married (14 years) to another neurodiverse partner and has a high-functioning neurodiverse adult child. She brings a lifetime of experience, compassion, and understanding to all her clients and is becoming a significant voice in the growing dialog about how to best support and strengthen neurodiverse relationships.

NT SUPPORT GROUPS (2 kinds):
1. Strength for saying in the Marriage
2. Healthy Separation/ Divorce
Advantages of group therapy:
• Safe, confidential zoom group (8 max)
• “Solution-focused” therapy model
• Incubator for change and growth
• Supports movement through stages of change
• Cross-sharing, learning from others
• Healing experience to share and be validated
• Multiple prayer partners - friendships
• Goal setting and homework
• Best value for time/money

GROUP DETAILS:
Strength for Staying in Marriage
• Centering one's identity in Christ 
• Detaching with love, speaking in love.
• Self-care as WORSHIP (love God with whole heart, mind, soul, strength… bring God the
1st fruits of your life, not the DREGS!)
• Handling anger, fear and making space to grieve
• BOUNDARIES
• Re-setting expectations
• Taking responsibility for future choices

HOW TO WORK WITH BARBARA:
 Free 25 min Consultation
 online coaching agreement and intake questionnaire
 90 min intake session
 Goal setting
 ongoing 55 min sessions (weekly, bi-monthly, etc.)
 HOMEWORK (customized for each client)
 Option of support group (better value for time/money spent)
 Req. a free consult: www.HopeForCouples.NET
Barbara's website: https://bg-hc.com/

Support Group registration by Sept 8th for the next group:
https://www.ntsupportgroups.com/