Balance is a Verb

In a recent Circle with Sarah Live, we got to talking about balance.

And I mentioned that one of my favorite ways to think about balance was shared with me by my friend, Mystie Winckler. Mystie suggests that we think about balance like learning to ride a bike because learning to ride a bike is learning to balance.

When you’re balancing on a bike, you’re not static. You don’t achieve balance and stay in balance, you have to make constant tiny adjustments. A little bit this way, a little bit that way; balancing is actually making those changes. It’s the actual act of making tiny course corrections.

Anytime you’re balancing on anything–a tightrope, a paddleboard, a bridge over a stream–it’s not static. It’s not something you get to and then are done with.

The act of balancing is an act of making tiny course corrections.

This is very different from the way that we tend to think about balance as women. For me, I tend to think that when things are in balance, everything will feel calm. We’ll be giving each of our kids exactly what they need. We’ll feel balanced in how much time we spend doing housework as opposed to how much time we’re teaching in our homeschools.

When life is in balance, we think we won’t have to make course corrections anymore because we’re going to feel like we’ve achieved our goal, but that defies the nature of balance itself.

Balance is a state in which we’re making tiny, constant course corrections. 

This is really important for us to remember because if we make it our goal to be in a state of balance, we’ll never get there because balance isn’t a state of being. It’s not a destination. It can’t be a goal.

Balance is a verb. It’s a series of tiny actions, of constant actions. And every single day you’re going to need to make course corrections, whether it’s your meal planning, or your scheduling, or your lesson plans, or the toddler’s nap time schedule, or which order you’re going to run your errands in…

That is what balancing is. That’s what balance looks like. It means making constant changes to make things work.

One of the things that would help us all is to remember that we’re actually pretty good at this.

We tend to see piles of undone laundry, and a bathroom that needs cleaning, and a kid who needs help learning to spell, and another kid who needs to learn fractions, and another one who needs new pants because they had a growth spurt–we see all of this as evidence that we’re not really very good at this. If we were good at this, all of these things would be taken care of.

But no, motherhood requires constant balancing. Balance as a verb. Constant course corrections. 

What would you say if I told you that every day for the rest of your life, you will have problems that need fixing? Because it’s true.

And this is actually great news because you’re the expert problem solver. Making tiny, constant course corrections isn’t just something that you need to do, but it’s something you’re really good at doing. You’ve been doing it every day that you’ve been alive and definitely every day that you’ve been a mother. 

Because the act of being alive means we are solving problems. That is how it works. And you’re pretty good at it already.

This week, when things feel a little out of balance, a little bit wobbly, remind yourself, balance is a verb. If I need to make constant course corrections, that means I’m balancing just fine.

I’ll be back here next week. For now, remember, you’ve got everything you need to teach with peace that transcends all understanding. You were made for such a time and such a homeschool as this. I’m praying for you.

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