Welcome to episode #105!In this episode, Matt and Braden talk with author, and podcaster, Sathiya Sam.The personality ethicOur unique personality is God-given, and much has been made of it in the past few years, discovering our specific personality make-up with things like Enneagram and myers-briggs. These are great tools, however an unhealthy mindset can birth itself out of this when we decide that we cant take personal responsibility and instead scapegoat our actions based on the way we are...
Welcome to episode #105!
In this episode, Matt and Braden talk with author, and podcaster, Sathiya Sam.
The personality ethic
Our unique personality is God-given, and much has been made of it in the past few years, discovering our specific personality make-up with things like Enneagram and myers-briggs. These are great tools, however an unhealthy mindset can birth itself out of this when we decide that we cant take personal responsibility and instead scapegoat our actions based on the way we are "wired". But when we are a person of character we change based on the commitments we make, instead of refusing to change because it doesn't fit within our particular personality bent.
The 5 principle stack
Control, responsibility, freedom bookends, delayed gratification, consistency are the five principles that can move us in freedom. Control is the understanding that we are not a victim and we are responsible for our choices including porn. It builds on the idea that we wont "outsource" our own responsibility to other things (culture, relationships etc), and acknowledge our own choices and our own part to play in where our life currently is. The second principle is responsibility. So when you clearly define what we can control, we need to move in our ability to respond and take responsibility. We have ownership over our actions and we can respond, and recognizing this is a key component of moving towards freedom. Next is the freedom bookends, which is two tiered with the first tier being why you want to get free from porn. This gives clarity of vision about why we want to be be free and what that would look like for us a person. The next tier is having a vision, which is a reminder of what life will look like being porn free and builds a foundation to lean on when times get tough and to maintain consistency.
Delayed gratification is next and it is the understanding that often when we struggle with porn we react in a moment to get our dopamine hit, we don't think about what we are feeling and how we are acting in any moment. But if we can delay that desire for something, we can have more self-awareness about our selves which reveals blindspots. Having delayed gratification isn't necessarily stopping something but going towards God and having healthy self awareness, which over time re-wires our brains. Finally consistency is the last principle, and this requires an ongoing approach that isn't short-term but looks to the long term. Having regularity in the first four principles builds into consistency and this maintains momentum and reworks our lives towards living in freedom.
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Resources
Sathiya Sam Website
The Last Relapse
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 13 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
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