Demystifying Therapy with Lori Gottlieb

2023-07-19

If you or anyone you know and love has ever had issues with their mental health, you know how painful it can be. As we conclude our “For the Love of Being Seen and Heard” series, we just want to remind you that there's no shame in admitting that you might need a little help. Maybe you’re feeling low, or more anxious than usual, or sad, scared, or just off—anything that feels different or keeps you from flourishing. Our guest today is here to encourage you to take agency over your mental health, and as a therapist herself, she’s here to help us shed those stigmas around seeking help from a therapist or counselor. Lori Gottleib is a renowned psychotherapist, a bestselling author, and a leading voice in the mental health space. Her latest book (which was also a a selection for the Jen Hatmaker Book Club) Maybe You Should Talk To Somebody leads us into her own experiences with the transformative power of therapy and gives answers to those who might have hesitations about beginning this process. Lori and Jen talk about:

Identifying the stereotypes about therapy and debunking them, plus what to expect so that you can a get the most out of your time with a therapist
Developing an attitude that mental health is just as important as physical help and that seeking a therapist is on the same level as getting a check up with a medical doctor toward whole body health
Jen’s personal experiences with therapy - and how she processed pain and betrayal, plus what it looks like to be in active recovery
Becoming aware of and taking responsiblity for our own patterns, actions and responses to life events as it pertains to our mental state and interactions with others

As Lori says, “one thing that therapy will teach you is how to be your real, messy, imperfect, fallible self, but also still love who you are.”

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Thought-Provoking Quotes:

“I think a lot of people are maybe afraid to open up to a therapist. They're maybe afraid to say, ‘this is the truth of who I am.’f That's why I really wanted to be open about what I was going through when I went to therapy, because I want people to know that this is a space where we've seen it all, not only as a therapist, but as a person in the world ourselves.” - Lori Gottlieb

“The more you can show the truth of who you are, the deeper your connections will be with the people in your life.” - Lori Gottlieb\

“The internet is the most effective short-term non-prescription painkiller out there because it's really something we use to distract ourselves.” - Lori Gottlieb

“The value of therapy is that you get wise compassion; we will hold up a mirror to you and we will help you to see what you haven't been willing or able to see about your role in the situation.” - Lori Gottlieb

“People do not realize; therapy [can be] hilarious because we're hilarious. Like, what is the gap between what we say we want and what we're actually doing? What are the ways in which we self-sabotage all the time? And we kind of know it, but we don't really wanna be called on it. But in therapy we're called on it in the kindest possible way. And we might laugh with our therapist about it.” - Lori Gottlieb

“A misconception about therapy is that you're gonna go to therapy and you're gonna talk about your childhood for years and you're never gonna leave. But it's very much about what is happening now and what we can do now. The past informs the present, but we want you to have pain relief as quickly as possible. So we wanna be really proactive about what we can do right now.” - Lori Gottlieb

“Men and women, any gender, whoever you are, however you identify; everybody is entitled to being vulnerable. And entitled to having someone sit with them and be present with them in their vulnerability, and not judge them, and not look down on them, but to connect with them.” - Lori Gottlieb

“One more hurdle that people need to get over is this fear of what [the therapist] is gonna think about them. But I think what's underneath that is, what am I gonna think of myself?” - Lori Gottlieb

“The person that we talk to most in the course of our lives is ourselves and what we say to ourselves isn't always kind or true or useful.” - Lori Gottlieb

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

For the Love of Reconnecting Podcast episode- Rewriting the Stories We Tell Ourselves: Lori Gottlieb

Maybe You Should Talk to Somebody by Lori Gottlieb

Jen Hatmaker Book Club

Aspen Ideas Festival

Dear Therapist Podcast

Guy Winch’s Ted Talk

Lori’s Atlantic Articles

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Workbook

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Journal

Guest’s Links:

Lori’s Website