Our Healing

This episode dives deeper into the relationship between parents and adult children.  What do those relationships look like now? What if parents aren't able to do what you need? How do you know if you're ready to have hard conversations?

For adult children, true healing can only come when we stop being dependent on our parents for our validation, regulation, and wellbeing. If our parents weren't able to meet those needs in our childhood, it's unlikely they'll be able to do it differently when we're adults. 

We're created to want connection with our attachment figures, even if that isn't terribly healthy, safe, or secure.

As adult children, we can often see our parents' patterns and challenges more clearly, but that doesn't mean they can see it the same way. Seeing this clearly can make us more empathetic but can also increase our anger and misunderstanding because they're not doing what we think they should.

For many parents, the thought of unpacking the generational components and trauma feels overwhelming, so it becomes easier to just avoid it completely.

We have to get to a point where we believe: I don't need it; I'm not dependent on it; I will be ok without it; I will heal without it.

When we feel ourselves slip into old, unhealthy attachment patterns, we need to be able to step away and return later.

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