35. How Trauma Impacts our Mothering

Motherhood has many challenges, some that are talked about more publicly than others. One common challenge within mothers’ experiences that isn’t often addressed, is how trauma – particularly childhood trauma – impacts the practice of mothering our own children, and how judge ourselves as mothers. In this episode I speak with trauma-informed Integrative Psychotherapist Catherine Counihan to explore this complex topic. Cath shares with us ‘big t’ and ‘small t’ definitions of trauma, some examples of trauma, and describes how and why our childhood experiences impact our mothering. Part of this means highlighting the infant and primary caregiver attachment relationships, and how our early life experiences impact our mothering today. Cath explains the physiological effects of trauma and offers examples of how this shows up in our interactions with our children. We talk about concepts such as the ‘parentified child’, and how perfectionism and control are key challenges in our experience as mothers. This episode offers you insight into why and how motherhood can be very stimulating from a trauma perspective; the role of both compassion and rage; suggestions for how to ‘widen your window of tolerance’; and what you can do when you feel you’re in a triggered state. You can connect with Cath further @psychotherapy_mum.