106: How to Use Attachment Theory to Navigate Conflict with your Teen

2025-01-13

Understanding the impact of our early experiences and how we adapted allows us to better understand ourselves as people and as parents. The influence of our early attachments on how we learned to relate should not be underestimated; it can offer us valuable insight into how we may behave as a parent. Yet in all cases, no matter what our attachment style is, being a good parent starts with exploring our own story and being willing to look at any pain we experienced growing up. We can develop ourselves and develop healthier...

We can develop ourselves and develop healthier relationships, which will allow our children to have a healthier and more secure attachment with us. In order to make that happen, we have to be open and focus on our own emotional growth and self-development.

As a child, Bev lived in a very unpredictable and chaotic environment where she never knew if she could rely on her parents to meet her emotional needs. This led her to absorb unhealthy relationship ideas based on what she was witnessing: she believed relationships were supposed to be unbalanced, uncertain, and overall chaotic. If you have an insecure attachment style, you probably relate to her experience, and navigating relationships can be particularly difficult for you.

Prior to becoming a Certified Attachment Practitioner and founding Securely Loved, Bev was an Executive Leader, University Lecturer and published author, having obtained her Masters' Degree in 2006. She has dedicated her entire career (25+ years) working with adults in the realm of personal growth and professional development.

Defining the traits of secure vs. insecure attachment.
The first 5 years of a child's life creates their future attachment style.
Intergenerational trauma can be repeated in raising kids if the parent doesn't heal their own wounds.
Understanding how our attachment style affects our emotional + thought patterns, communication style, relationship to boundaries, coping mechanisms, and ability to emotionally regulate.
Using attachment theory to navigate conflict with your teen.