#081 How to say “no” in a gentle way without punishments, arguments or harshness

Today on the podcast I talk about the small interactions with your child that happen many times a day but often don’t go so smoothly. A simple request from you turns into a standoff or an argument - and you just want your child to listen without all the drama. 

This is something parents ask me about all the time:“I don’t want to respond harshly to my children but I don’t want to be permissive either - what do I do?” 

 

The question is - how to approach discipline when you don’t want to use threats or punishments but trying to be gentle isn’t working either -  you are stuck in an endless cycle of trying to be gentle but your patience wears thin and you descend into arguments swiftly followed by you losing your cool. It doesn’t feel very gentle but the only alternative seems to be to allow your child to do what they want!

There is another way to set limits in a gentle way with your child, in a way that doesn’t use fear or control and doesn’t damage your relationship.

So I’m talking about how to deal with those small everyday interactions which cause arguments or conflict over and over again - like bedtime, like wanting a snack right before dinner, like turning the TV off. 

You want to say no but you don’t want the arguments.

I take you through Hand in Hand Parenting’s approach to setting limits using the “Listen, Limit, Listen” framework. It works like a dream and you can rest assured you are holding firm without using fear and whilst still leaving room for feelings. 

This episode I recorded outdoors by the sea, so there is a little bit of wind interference, I hope it isn’t too annoying. Here is a photo of my view so you can picture the scene!

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