In this episode, Andrew encounters a patient whose stated objective is to own her own competence and self assuredness and to be more like him. Andrew anticipates encountering a people pleaser and is surprised when he encounters a lack of it. The patient stonewalls him in particular moments She resists his attempts to move closer by masking her anger and collapsing into tears and shutting him down.
In response, Andrew consciously carries her denied anger but denies his own unconscious envy of her freedom to collapse. This leads him to subtly undercut her anger while consciously intending to invite it.
In this interplay of the patient’s and therapist’s joint unconscious denials, affect heightens and thought decreases. Through supervision, a better balance between feeling and thought is achieved and Andrew moves forward taking ownership of his own envy in the gender wars.