Maybe this sounds familiar: you leave a party and spend the rest of the night convinced everyone was upset with you. Or you replay something you said in a meeting for days and second-guess every last word.Vanessa Van Edwards has been there. As a self-proclaimed "recovering awkward person," she’s spent two decades decoding the hidden dynamics of human interaction to make those skills teachable for introverts and extroverts alike.Vanessa is a behavioral researcher, bestselling author, and founder of Science of People. In her book, Conversation: How to Be Instantly Likeable in Any I...
Maybe this sounds familiar: you leave a party and spend the rest of the night convinced everyone was upset with you. Or you replay something you said in a meeting for days and second-guess every last word.
Vanessa Van Edwards has been there. As a self-proclaimed "recovering awkward person," she’s spent two decades decoding the hidden dynamics of human interaction to make those skills teachable for introverts and extroverts alike.
Vanessa is a behavioral researcher, bestselling author, and founder of Science of People. In her book, Conversation: How to Be Instantly Likeable in Any Interaction, she makes the case that social skills aren't a personality type, they're learnable. And she believes we are living in the most critical moment in history to start learning them.
In this episode you'll learn:
➡️ Why "just be yourself" is unhelpful advice + potentially cruel
➡️ The important everyday interactions technology + AI replaced
➡️ Where to stand at a party so someone always talks to you
➡️ How to have better conversations (+ why you already have the skills)
➡️ What the real antidote to awkwardness is
➡️ How to practice micro-social skills without turning people off
➡️ Why we’re all ambiverts + how to understand ambiversion
➡️ How soft skills drive major career inflection points
➡️ The concept of social fitness + the “nutrition” of your relationships
In this conversation, Vanessa lays out how even the most socially anxious among us can build real connections and become more likable… even in a world that has quietly removed all the places we used to accidentally get good at being human. And the secret isn't confidence. It's something far more generous.
This… is A Bit of Optimism.
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Watch A Bit of Optimism on Spotify, and Spotify Premium users can enjoy the show ad-free.
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To pre-order Vanessa’s new book, Conversation: How to Be Instantly Likeable in Any Interaction, head to: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/conversation/
Want to learn more people skills from Vanessa? Check out The Science of People: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/
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Chapters
Chapters
- 00:00:00 Social Skills in the Digital Age Crisis
- 00:01:47 Vanessa's Journey: The Accidental Social Skills Expert
- 00:05:45 Mistakes Everyone Makes Learning to Improve Social Skills
- 00:08:09 Where Did Our Places to Practice Being Human Go?
- 00:11:17 Where to Stand at a Party When You Don't Know Anyone
- 00:14:17 The Ambivert Reality: Social Fitness and Friendship Nutrition
- 00:18:07 The Discomfort Problem: Why Young People Avoid Rather Than Adapt
- 00:21:33 Put the Shoes in the Box: The Art of Knowing When to Stop
- 00:34:54 Intention Matches Action: Defining Authenticity
- 00:46:56 The Power of Being Seen: How Love Changed Everything
- 00:49:51 The Ultimate Social Skill: Helping Others Feel Normal
- 00:42:20 Micro-Social Skills: Finding the Parts of Yourself You Like
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Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.
Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.
Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.
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Website: http://simonsinek.com/
Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful
Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek
Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/
Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/
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