“We Have to Clock In Today”: Keisha Wheeler on Widowhood & Raising Seven Children

When Keisha Wheeler met Patrick at college, she wasn’t looking for a husband. Patrick, however, seemed fairly certain he’d found his wife.

What followed was a marriage full of faith, family, music, ministry and, eventually, seven children.

Then, in December 2021, everything changed.

Patrick developed chest pain while the family were preparing to deliver food to their community. Within hours, Keisha was being told that he had suffered a ruptured aorta. He underwent emergency surgery but never regained consciousness, dying six days later.

Suddenly, Keisha was a widow and the sole parent of seven children.

In this episode of Widowed AF, Keisha joins Rosie for a remarkably open conversation about the reality of surviving a loss that changes absolutely everything.

They talk about the strange autopilot of those first hours and days, the impossible responsibility of telling your children their dad has died, and what it means to keep getting up when other people mistake functioning for coping.

Keisha also speaks candidly about something that is often much harder to discuss: what happens to faith when the person you prayed to doesn’t save the person you love.

Having spent much of her life in church and ministry, Patrick’s death profoundly changed Keisha’s relationship with God. She talks about anger, betrayal, losing her ability to sing and watching her children wrestle with their own faith, including one daughter crying out: “I know you love us, God, this doesn’t feel like love.”

Rosie and Keisha also talk about solo parenting after bereavement: the relentless decisions, the exhaustion, the compromises you make simply to keep everybody going and the reality that the parent your older children had may be very different from the one your younger children experience after loss.

But this is also a conversation about community and what can grow alongside grief.

After discovering the power of grief support for her own children, Keisha went on to create a space for other bereaved families through the Patrick Wesley Wheeler Foundation. What began with her own seven children has grown to support dozens of others, giving children somewhere they can grieve, laugh, remember and simply be around people who understand.

There is no neat ending here. Keisha still misses Patrick. Her children still miss their dad. Life hasn’t become “normal”.

But, together, they keep showing up.

As Keisha puts it: sometimes you wake up wanting to quit. But you woke up alive today.

So you clock in.

FIND KEISHA & SUPPORT HER WORK

Instagram: @servingwithseven

Keisha is the founder of Hand in Hand Brandon, part of the Patrick Wesley Wheeler Foundation. The grassroots organisation supports bereaved children and families, offering a space where they can grieve openly and be alongside others who understand.

As Keisha says: “We can’t fix your grief, but we can walk alongside you.”

Website: handinhandbrandon.org

You can find out more about Hand in Hand, the Patrick Wesley Wheeler Foundation, upcoming events and ways to support or donate through the website.