Never Too Young To Die (1986)

Directed by: Gil Bettman Starring: John Stamos, Vanity, Gene Simmons, Gene Simmons, Robert Englund, A suprising number of fuckers you've heard of. As crazy as it sounds, John Stamos is a college gymnastics whiz kid who's dad (George Lazenby) is a special agent trying to stop the "Hermaphroditic" maniacal rocker Velvet Von Ragnar played by Gene Simmons. When John Stamos' father is killed, he meets up with his father's old partner, played by Vanity - and together they must top Velvet Von Ragnar before he poisons the town's water supply. Think "James Bond" if Bond was funded by your kid's elementary school fundraiser. This poster art says it all