A female client’s ”Goodbye letter” to Porn, Sex (or was it more love Addiction)

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(Interviewed by Caroline Brown of This Crazy over 40's Life Podcast) - Part 1

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

You can break free of the (perhaps) generational baton of inherited compulsive behaviours and decide - "it stops with me" Here is one such past Kairos Centre client's description of her journey:

"A client’s Goodbye letter to porn, sex & love Addiction

 A goodbye to sex and love addiction letter, written by a woman after 9 months therapy with Gary McFarlane and Kairos Services and following a transformational dance (5 Rhythms) to express the story and journey:

Dear Sex and Love Addiction,

It’s time for us to part, forever.

Goodbye, so long, be gone, don’t look round I’m not wavering, cheerio, it is done.

It is finished; I understand you, I see you for what you are, I don’t need or want you.

We can no longer be friends because you are a tedious distraction and a liar.

You might offer some saturation in happy woozy oozy feelings, but right next to that you bring confusion, isolation, longing, pining, which can never be met. You remind me of what I seek - unity with the Divine and then snatch that from me, into the embrace of want and lust. If I have to part from the dizzy wooziness so be it, no regrets. It comes with too big a price.

You have wasted so much of my time, damaged my body and turned me into a killer. With you for company I have behaved like an unfeeling, all consumed, callous bitch. Nothing else mattered. I tricked and conned people, I stole their hearts, I lied, I hurt them and honestly sometimes I didn’t care. When I did care it was unbearable. Crippling guilt - you forgot to mention that would be an outcome!

I feel clear in my moving on. I have known you for many years, but without help couldn’t see you 100% clearly, I didn’t know how to find myself and my power and to move you out of my life. But I found that help and I know for certain now that: I am in control of my life not you. 

I feel free, I feel like I get to choose.

My love for people is bigger not smaller, my capacity is not diminished. I give up the soothing and stroking you offered because they were poor coping methods. They created problems and they held in feelings of anxiety that were ready to leave me. Goodbye anxiety. Goodbye shame and narcissism too, you can all move out together.

I know there was a tender little girl that was seeking for a need to be met and I honour her efforts. This addiction saw me through some harsh times, it provided fun and humour, risk and adventure. All these things are still in my capacity and I hold on to the good stuff; including a feminine and masculine sexuality which loves intimacy, lets energy move, connects, reassures, holds. I welcome my ecstatic connection with the infinite, however and wherever it may manifest.

Goodbye forever sex and love addiction. I no longer need or want you or feel confused by you. You have no role, You take up room.

Goodbye".

Want to know more? Click the link to get me.

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
www.kairos-centre.com       info@kairos-centre.com

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

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